Are there any real Tories left? I hope so

To truly believe in a cause, one has to know the enemy.

One has to read about the depths to which they sink, how illogical they are, and just why you want to fight against them.

That’s why I read Cameron Slater’s Whale Oil Beef Hooked every day.

Just typing those first few letters in to my search engine reminds me of the scene from the Da Vinci Code where Paul Bettany punishes himself with a nine-tail whip.

S & M imagery aside, Slater’s devotion to skirting the fringes of slander and defamation, mistaken-ridden posts, overt racism, and dole-bludger bashing sends me in to a vigorous spin. (It’s that angry confusion that stopped me continuing to read Ayn Rand. You know the one? Just look up the dictionary, filed under H for Hypocrisy.)

Thankfully Slater took a break over the weekend, and Whale Oil hosted a short guest piece cooing for the return of firebrand Conservatives who give two hoots about "loyalty, patriotism, honour, and glory”.

Presumably the mystery poster would prefer a government cabinet of Enoch Powell clones, executing a ‘Rivers Of Blood’-style tirade every morning in parliament.

Either way, it’s all the usual yearning that we’ve come to expect from the Right. For once, it’s sensible and reasoned, rather than the usual calls for a return to serfdom and patriarchy.

What caught my eye was the hate directed towards Randian neoliberals and the hijacking of the Conservative dog tag.

To a traditional Tory who values loyalty, surely treason against the cause is a charge much more serious than those who stand for the basic rights of every man?

I highly doubt it.

The reason why we need real Tories is simple: I’ll always be grateful to those that lend support to the fight against amoral and dangerous freemarketeers. Alas, if there’s anything that we can count on, it’s that the Right will never hesitate to drop their campaign against a true enemy in search of a fight against those who believe in the wonders of social democracy.

So for all of the mystery poster’s indignity against “the soul-less love of money and nothing else”, I can guarantee that social democracy stands as a larger threat to him than any flimsy financial cuts in an unnecessary defence force.

But then regular Whale Oil programming resumed, and my self-flagellation continued.