It's tacky tinsel time again

Brace yourselves - it's that time of year already. You may have thought there were a few months of sanity left before the end-of-year onslaught of tacky decorations, tinny music and blaring ads, but you were wrong.

For the Retail Gods have declared that this year, Christmas is coming early.

And I mean really early. Over the years retailers have slowly but inexorably brought the so-called 'festive season' ever forward, hoping to increase the period during which shoppers go into a spending frenzy, blackmailed by ad campaigns and brainwashed by sale signs.

And now, in the middle of September, we're being told we've only got a matter of weeks before shops start putting up their decorations. Some of them already have their Christmas confectionary displays out.

This means 'Christmas shopping' will begin before we've even had Labour Weekend. We're going to be encouraged to start spending up large for an event that is still more than three months away.

I can't be the only one who thinks this is ridiculous.

Newmarket Business Association's CEO, Cameron Brewer, says shops have ditched their normal 'restraint' (his words, not mine - you get the feeling retailers would start the festive season in February if they could) of waiting until at least Labour weekend, because they want to catch up for what has been a tough year.

He says Christmas is a perfect excuse to get people spending.

Okay, so there's a recession (or has been, if you believe that it's all over) and shops need to make more money.

But why drag Christmas into it?

If they want people to spend money now, why can't they just have big Labour Weekend sales? Don't force people to endure three solid months of fake trees and 'Christmas songs' and garish displays and crowded merchandising just so you can make an extra buck.

I don't want or need the visual and aural assault every time I set foot in a mall from now until the New Year. Mall owners might think their decorations encourage people to come join in the festive fun, but it can be a deterrent for those wearied by the constant message to spend, spend, spend.

It's unbelievably condescending of retailers to think that just because they put up wreaths and tack the word 'Christmas' onto all their signage, shoppers will come flocking - and continue to do so all the way up to the big day. Okay, so some of us will be gullible enough (or maybe the bargains will be worth it) to spend more than we would have otherwise.

But in the end, I'm guessing it will be pointless. Because every year, without fail, the week before Christmas brings the same sob story from retailers. They release results showing sales are lower than expected and they're falling short of their targets. Then a last-minute flurry plus the New Year's Day splurges carry them into the black. End of panic.

I'm not a Grinch, by the way. I love celebrating Christmas. But the times I feel most 'Christmassy' are in no way associated with shopping malls, where the atmosphere is anything but festive.

 Joining the hordes to trudge round in search of 'the perfect gift' for everyone on my list never makes me feel Christmassy, it makes me feel hot and bothered and harassed and time-starved - and poor. And that's never going to change.

I think I'll end up trying to do most of my gift-buying online this year. Then instead of queuing amidst a jumble of bargain bins and giant plastic snowmen, I can relax and enjoy a proper Kiwi Christmas - in December, where it belongs.