Fluffing and Puffing

The May 4th edition of One News was extremely difficult to find a 'lighter side' of.

See that's my brief, I'm looking out for the 'lighter side' of the news these days.

For too long we've been preoccupied with the dire nature of the news, the bad stories, the horror and we've let the 'good' stories slip away un-noticed.

And let me tell you it wasn't an easy job.

A topsy-turvy start involving a Makutu report, with nine people on trial for killing one person, followed by the latest developments of another person's trial for killing five people.

Then a story about one Flu killing an unconfirmed number of people.

Definitely not the best targets for some harmless 'news mirth'.

Although I did find a seemingly straw-clutching question from David Bain's defence rather amusing;

Defence: "Did Margaret Bain speak to you of a fear that Robin Bain would take a gun and kill the whole family as a result of his depression?"

Witness: "No."

The next piece I've made up for my own amusement. Heaven knows I needed a little jest after such dark and scary beginnings.

Defence: "Well, that's it...I've got nothing now. I rest my case your Honour."

But just when I thought all hope was lost, and I would have nothing appropriate to poke fun at, Simon Dallow threw me a lifeline.

It came in the form of a pre-commercial tease, something about an expensive feijoa.

My ears pricked up at the prospect of this guaranteed news fluff and I waited with bated breath.

News fluff is admittedly not too rare, usually found in its natural habitat, loitering between weather and the Dallow-Petrie sign off.

But this particular fluff piece stood out rather majestically.

It appeared to be acting as a puff piece as well as a fluff piece!

The puff piece is defined as being an article or report in the media that is based on exaggerated praise to promote a person.

But the very interesting thing about this fluff/puff combo story was that it outlined exactly how much it costs to get puffed on our nation's news!

The recipient of the puffery was mortgage magnate, Mike Pero, who managed to look like the local, loveable businessman who is generous and funny for just $500, which, as he got to say himself, went to a charity.

Admittedly he had to give a further $500 to a family for their feijoa that bore a striking resemblance to a kiwi.

But let's think about the near priceless exposure our quirky mortgage mate Mike got out of that thousand-dollar feijoa.

The airtime during one of New Zealand's most watched hours of television would have cost at least a basketful of feijoas posing as kiwis.

So not only did Mr Pero get an awesome piece of fruit for that $1000, he saved a fortune on advertising costs AND came across as a charitable guy.

Well played Mike. All the boxes of a puff piece ticked off in favour of the mortgage king.

But what about the boxes that need to be ticked to ensure this was a genuine fluff piece as well?

Was it completely un-newsworthy?

Check.

Will it have your co-workers talking about it by the water cooler to the point of unfathomable annoyance the next day?

Check.

Did Simon Dallow perform a fake, plastic chuckle immediately after?

News fluff confirmed.