24 Hilarious Tweets That Sum Up Parenting Your 1st Kid vs. Your 2nd Kid
As a first-time parent, you worry about every little thing: adhering to a perfect schedule, feverishly researching the best baby products, feeding your kid the healthiest foods you can find, documenting every milestone and avoiding screen time.
By the time the second, third or fourth kid enters the world, you tend to take a more relaxed approach to parenting. Those plastic, light-up baby toys? Sure! Some fast food now and then? Why not. And little TV or iPad time? Not that big of a deal.
Below, we gathered 24 tweets that hilariously capture the differences between raising your first kid versus raising your second, third or fourth.
me after my first kid: screen time is terrible, I will raise you to appreciate wooden blocks and imagination
me after the second kid: the wiggles are your parents now— Nick Evershed (@NickEvershed) September 6, 2019
1st Kid: OMG YOU ATE A FRUIT SNACK OFF THE FLOOR OF WALMART CALL 911 MY POOR BABY!
2nd Kid: Ew buddy spit that out.
3rd Kid: Sweet, I don’t need to make lunch.— Upside Dad (@UpsideDad) February 9, 2022
First kid: Shhh, be quiet or you'll wake the baby.
Second kid: *using a leaf blower to dust the furniture*— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) September 10, 2017
Pictures of 1st kid
📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸
Pictures of 2nd kid
📸📸📸📸📸
Pictures of any additional kids
🤷🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️— Danielle Nicki (@DanielleNicki) February 23, 2022
First kid: makes homemade baby purées
Second kid: throws baby puffs on the floor— Satirical Mommy (@SatiricalMommy) December 14, 2021
[breakfast]
First kid: French toast, organic fruit
Second kid: Cereal
Third kid: Ketchup— Josh (@iwearaonesie) April 28, 2018
[First kid]
Kid: Mom, why are they called dandelions?
Me: That’s a great question! *Googles word etymology, gives in-depth explanation, discusses other flower names*
[Second kid]
Kid: Mom, why are they called dandelions?
Me: I have no idea, get in the car.— SpacedMom (@copymama) April 26, 2019
1st kid: I bought us some paper mache, paint, clay, and glitter for an art project!!
2nd kid: I bought you some crayons and construction paper for an art project!!
3rd kid: *hands him a roll of tape* Go knock yourself out.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 7, 2019
Me with first child: NO SCREEN TIME EVER NONE.
Me with second child: here's your bottle, and here's your paci and here's the remote enjoy kid— Sabaa Tahir (@sabaatahir) April 26, 2019
1st child 1st birthday:
rent a venue, invite everyone and their mother, hire a musician, catering, an elaborate cake, gift unwrapping, goodie bags and a large credit card bill
2nd child 1st birthday:
an empty amazon box— Douglas A. Boneparth (@dougboneparth) March 7, 2020
1st kid: Has 21 pictures of baby blinking
2nd kid: Has one blurry picture of graduation day— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) September 1, 2017
1st kid: OMG is that a tooth?? (researches age appropriate brush/paste, buys them immediately, takes pictures and posts to Facebook)
2nd kid: Oops, he has three teeth we should’ve been brushing. I’ll grab a brush next time I’m out.
3rd kid: These fall out anyway, right?— Not the Nanny (@not_thenanny) February 12, 2020
First kid: Warmed-up wet wipes.
Second kid: Warmed-up wet willies.— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) March 16, 2022
When your 1st kid crawls into your bed, you carry them back to theirs. 2nd kid crawls into your bed, you let them stay because you’re tired. When the 3rd kid gets into your bed, you go sleep in theirs and it’s the best night you’ve had in 8 years.
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) February 9, 2022
First kid: No TV
Second kid: Dora
Third kid: One Tree Hill— Anna (@AnnaDoesntWant2) March 1, 2022
1st kid: Everything is completely safe and the floor is padded.
2nd kid: Those crumbs are from yesterday, you're fine.
3rd kid: The cord isn't plugged, so you're good.— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) April 8, 2021
Parenting through the years:
1st kid: Organic food only
2nd kid: “McDonald’s once in a while isn’t so bad.”
3rd kid: “Did he just eat dog food? I’m sure he’s fine.”— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) April 1, 2019
1st kid: sterilize and purify EVERYTHING, no TV, fast food, sugar or screens
2nd: use your spit to sanitize on the go, screen time in small doses, homemade fries and nuggets
3rd: wipe sippy cup w. sleeve, happy meals in drive thru, shrug when kids eat floor food, iPads are life— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) August 23, 2019
1st child: School projects are sorted neatly and filed by grade year.
2nd child: They are somewhere in the house.
3rd child: They are put in recycling bin once graded.— Gerry Dee (@gerrydee) March 9, 2022
1st Kid: Pregnancy announcement, gender reveal party, maternity photo shoot, newborn photo shoot, monthly photo shoots.
2nd Kid: Pregnancy announcement, Monthly photo updates a couple days late.
3rd Kid: "Some pics from Josh's 1st birthday.... oh, this is Josh. We had a baby."— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) February 21, 2019
*filling out preschool form*
1st child: She knows all of the letters and numbers.
2nd child: He knows all of the colors.
3rd child: She knows all of the swear words.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 1, 2018
me to my first kid: OMG YOU’RE WALKING *tears* oh the places you will go
me to my second: yayyy rockstar!!
me to my third: whoa slow down there, what’s the rush lmao
me to my fourth: *discreetly knocks him over* dude I just sat down for the first time in a year, chill— jo (@whatsJo) July 23, 2019
It's funny how different parents are with each child. First child, second child, third child. I just heard this kid shout "Hail Satan!" but he was the youngest of five, and the parents didn't even notice.
— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) May 22, 2019
1st child: OH MY GOD HE’S EATING A CRAYON! STOP! TAKE IT OUT!
2nd child: Oh dear you ate a bit of crayon
3rd child: Here you go son, here’s a whole pack, go wild. Just let Baba sleep— Raz (@raztweets) June 21, 2019
