When word hit that Olympic ski racer Lindsey Vonn asked her boyfriend, P.K. Subban to marry her, the internet literally lost their shit. “On our 2 year anniversary, in a ‘nontraditional’ move, I asked P.K. to marry me and he said, yes! Women aren’t the only ones who should get engagement rings!” she wrote on Twitter.
Homegirl speaks the truth. Considering it’s the year 2020, it should be no problemo to ask your partner to marry you, regardless of how you or your partner identifies.
“There has been a major increase in women proposing to their male partners,” confirms Lauren Kay, executive editor for The Knot. “More and more couples are twisting or breaking convention traditions in an effort to showcase their unique love story, values, and personality.”
So if you’re considering asking your S.O. to marry you, don’t fret. It’s literally NBD with a lil planning and organizing. But if you need some inspo, included below are the stories from nine women who defied the gender barriers and asked their boyfriends to marry them:
1. Jennifer H.
“When I caught word from his daughter that he was thinking of proposing, I waited… and waited.. and waited. A year after I learned he was going to propose, I realized I had disempowered myself in putting the onus on him. So one night, when we were snuggling, I asked him. It was the moment you look at your loved one and the love you feel is indescribable. We realized I had placed so much meaning on him not proposing and he had put meaning into the ‘perfect’ proposal, which stopped him from proposing. It was a lesson to both of us to be aware of where we place meaning into something that has none.”
2. Cassandra T.
“We were in Honolulu for vacation with my boyfriend’s family. I had been planning it for six months—setting up a local photographer, hiring a professional ukulele player, asking his parents’ permission, etc. I decided to take him to a ‘photoshoot to help out a friend.’ We posed for a few test shots and then the photographer slipped me the ring. My fiancé had his back toward me, so I whispered some sweet things in his ear, ring box in my hand, and he figured out what was happening. When he turned around, I got down on one knee and asked. He cried, said yes, and his dad filmed the whole thing. If you love someone unconditionally and wouldn’t want to ever do life again without them, just ask. It truly doesn’t matter which person does it.”
3. Janée F.
“My boyfriend knew from the very beginning of our relationship that I was ‘the one’ but I was always a few steps behind him. One day he asked me how he would know when I was ready to get married, and made a comment about how he would know I was REALLY ready if I asked him myself. So a couple months later, I decided I was ready and arranged a family photo shoot at the beach with our daughters. Both of our families were there, and they walked up behind him right as I started the proposal. My husband felt so special that I took all that time and did something for HIM.”
4. Marcia N.
“I proposed on our two-year anniversary. Throughout the relationship, I was adamant about never getting married and Rob joked that if I ever changed my mind, I’d have to propose. So when our friend group planned on going to Oktoberfest in Europe, I decided it was time to propose. We did a hike in Austria with a few friends and at the top, I asked Rob to take a picture. While posing, I asked him, ‘Will you make all your future plans with me?’ and he said ‘Sure?’ not fully understanding what was going on. To make things more clear, I asked if he wanted me to get down on one knee and he enthusiastically said ‘Yeah!’ He was completely caught by surprise.”
“Ever since we started dating, people would ask when Peter would propose. He would always hold up his left hand and say, ‘Whenever she’s ready!’ or ‘Equal rights! If she’s ready, she can always ask.’ So I started tossing around the idea of asking and decided to do it. I bought a ring and called his parents for their blessing. I cooked him a nice dinner, set the table with candles and flowers, and opened the wine. When he came out, I asked to make a toast. I had an entire speech planned out, but as I raised my glass, I stumbled through it. I finally made it, pulled the ring out from below the table, and asked him to be my husband. He said yes!”
6. Lexi A.
"I invited my entire family to spend Thanksgiving with my partner and I in our tiny apartment near San Francisco (my brother was in on the proposal, my parents didn't know until the morning of). We went for a picnic near the Palace of Fine Arts and I asked my brother and his girlfriend if they wanted a few pictures in front of the palace. Once their photo was taken, my brother said it was our turn. We stood together and funnily enough, my partner looked at me and made a joke about proposing. He said 'Wow, I guess now would be the best time to ask you a very important question.' I laughed, pulled his ring out of my pocket, and said 'Oh, good, I'm proposing to you!' He was so shocked, he thought I was pranking him. He immediately teared up and said 'Are you fucking kidding me?' Then yes!"
7. Angelica H.
"I proposed to my boyfriend after one month of knowing him with custom M&Ms and a watch! When we got to my house after dinner together, I told him there was a package waiting for him in the kitchen. He ran into the house, ripped open the box, and said 'You got me M&Ms!' When he turned around, I was on my knee with watch in a box, and then he looked down to read the M&Ms that said 'Will you marry me?' With the biggest smile on his face, he said yes, picked me up, and gave me a kiss."
8. Angie R.
“I knew I wanted to marry my partner, but I thought it was silly that I would have to wait for him to propose. I decided that if it’s what I wanted, then I was going to go for it and not worry what others would think. I did it on our vacation to California. We were in Tahoe mountain-biking when I asked him to marry me when we stopped at an amazing view overlooking a gorge. Proposing to him is one of those things I’m super proud of in my life because I went after what I wanted and didn’t leave it up to a man to decide my fate.”
9. Daphne T.
“I proposed to my boyfriend of three years while we were cooking dinner together, which is one of our favorite things to do. I even got down on one knee! He was so surprised and even dropped a box of pasta and cried. It was an honor to experience the pure joy he felt when I asked him to marry me. I hope more women get to experience that feeling because it would be a shame to lose out on such a special moment because society thinks it’s ‘weird.’”
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