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Amanda Kloots Held a Memorial for Late Husband Nick Cordero: 'His Spirit Was Definitely There'

Amanda Kloots held a small memorial for her late husband, Broadway actor Nick Cordero, who died last Sunday from coronavirus complications.

Kloots shared a heartfelt post on social media Sunday, detailing the "celebration" and sharing a sweet photo with her and Cordero's 13-month-old son Elvis Eduardo.

"I said, 'Nick would have wanted this to be a celebration. Let’s try to laugh, share great stories and sing for him and to his memory,' " Kloots recalled telling her close family and friends at the memorial. "He would have loved it. It was beautiful and perfect. His spirit was definitely there."

The fitness instructor said the group listened to the song, "I'm Here" from the Broadway show, The Color Purple.

"Nick and I saw this show on Broadway years ago and we left the theater in tears, speechless. As it was being played last night the lyrics in the second half of the song hit me hard," Kloots wrote. "Truly, I am scared. Scared of my new normal, of the pain, the loss and being strong enough to get through it. But, I know Nick is up above routing for me, believing in me and hoping for me."

Amanda Kloots/Instagram Amanda Kloots

"He wants me to LIVE this new life and he wants me to be the best version of myself for our son. I promised him in the hospital that I would try to do that," she added. "So, when I heard these lyrics yesterday I thought, 'Ok. When I’m doubting if I can get through this, I’m playing this song. It will be my motto.' "

Kloots continued, telling her followers she "never thought" this would be her journey, and that she's going to take it "one day, one step at a time."

RELATED: Nick Cordero's Wife Amanda Kloots Breaks Down in Tears as She Talks About Grief: 'It's So Hard'

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We had a small memorial yesterday with close family and friends. I said, “Nick would have wanted this to be a celebration. Let’s try to laugh, share great stories and sing for him and to his memory.” He would have loved it. It was beautiful and perfect. His spirit was definitely there. We listened to the song, I’m Here, from The Color Purple. Nick and I saw this show on Broadway years ago and we left the theater in tears, speechless. As it was being played last night the lyrics in the second half of the song hit me hard. Truly, I am scared. Scared of my new normal, of the pain, the loss and being strong enough to get through it. But, I know Nick is up above routing for me, believing in me and hoping for me. He wants me to LIVE this new life and he wants me to be the best version of myself for our son. I promised him in the hospital that I would try to do that. So, when I heard these lyrics yesterday I thought, “Ok. When I’m doubting if I can get through this, I’m playing this song. It will be my motto.” This is a long journey ahead and a down road I never thought I’d be on. No one can tell me how to do it, I have to do it. I may do things right, I may do them wrong. There isn’t a perfect way. One day, one step at a time. I have faith that God is leading the way and that Nick is our angel. In case you don’t know this song and are also in need of a motto, here are the lyrics. Do yourself a favor by listening to @cynthiaerivo sing it. “I'm gonna take a deep breath. Gonna hold my head up. Gonna put my shoulders back, And look you straight in the eye. I'm gonna flirt with somebody When they walk by. I'm gonna sing out . . . Sing out. I believe I have inside of me Everything that I need to live a bountiful life. With all the love alive in me I'll stand as tall as the tallest tree. And i'm Thankful for everyday that i'm given, Both the easy and hard ones i'm livin'. But most of all I'm thankful for Loving who I really am. I'm beautiful. Yes, I’m beautiful, And I’m here.”

A post shared by AK! ⭐️ (@amandakloots) on Jul 12, 2020 at 7:17am PDT

"I have faith that God is leading the way and that Nick is our angel," Kloots wrote, before sharing the lyrics to "I'm Here" with her followers.

Just days before the memorial, Kloots opened up about her grief in a tearful video shared on her Instagram Stories on Thursday night.

The mother of one first shared a letter she wrote to her son as a way to explain how Cordero died, in which parts of it read: "I miss him so much. I miss his voice, hugs, kisses, smile, silliness. I wish quarantine would have been the three of us together every day. We must look for the silver linings in life, son."

Kloots went on to reflect back on her husband's months-long battle with COVID-19, saying in a video, "You know, it's so funny because grief is such a weird thing. I've talked about everything else about this process, so it feels oddly wrong not to acknowledge about grief."

RELATED: Nick Cordero's Son Elvis, 1, Has Been Watching Old Videos of Actor and 'Kissing the Phone'

Ashley Becker Nick Cordero, Amanda Kloots, son Elvis

"When you're grieving and you're going through something like this, and you go through your day, you feel almost sometimes like 'Am I allowing myself to grieve? Am I allowing myself to acknowledge what's happened and ... what these last three months of my life has been?' " she continued. "I just start to question myself about everything that I'm experiencing right now."

Explaining that she's "dealing with so much" at the moment, Kloots admitted that her grief doesn't usually hit her until the end of the day. "'Am I also acknowledging everything that has happened and acknowledging my sadness?' It oftentimes doesn't hit me until night when I'm going to sleep," she said. "I don't think there is a right answer to grief or how someone grieves."

"It's tough for sure, even for somebody like me who's type A and wants to keep pressing on," she continued, explaining that work "helps" to get her through the day. "It's so hard. And when it does hit you, it's so hard. But I know it's going to get easier every day."

In support of Cordero's family, a GoFundMe page was created to raise funds for his medical bills.

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