The Teen Mom OG, 27, revealed the depths of her despair after she and Baier ended things during the first part reunion of the hit MTV series on Monday night.
Portwood, who is expecting her first child with boyfriend Andrew Glennon, spoke to Dr. Drew via Skype and responded to accusations by her daughter’s father, Gary Shirley, that she was an absent mother after they separated.
“The main thing is when I was going through everything after me and Matt broke up, people have to understand, I was with that man for three and a half years,” Portwood said. “It was a really horrible relationship. It was an abusive relationship — mentally and physically.”
“It turned me into a really unhappy, depressed person and I couldn’t keep going on with that,” she continued. “When I found out that he possibly cheated on me, that was the end because I can’t stay with a man who would ever do that to me. When it ended I spiraled out of control.”
When Dr. Drew asked the mother of one if she had remained sober in the aftermath of their breakup, she admitted she turned to drinking.
“No, I was drinking horribly,” Portwood, who has struggled with drug addiction previously, revealed. “I might not have been doing a lot of drugs and things like that but I was definitely trying to drown my sorrows.”
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Portwood and Baier appeared on WEtv’s Marriage Boot Camp: Family Edition, in which she accused him of being physically abusive. Baier adamantly denied the allegations.
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“I was kind of blinded because I thought we were in love, I guess. When you want something so bad and you think that you have it, you kind of try to hold onto it even through the bad things that happen,” she said. “I learned very quickly you can’t change a person, especially somebody who’s a lot older than you and they’re already set in their ways.”
“When you watch Marriage Boot Camp you literally see me ungluing at the seams,” Portwood continued. “It is absolutely horrific. I haven’t acted that way in years. If you watch that show, you’re going to see once again a very unhappy person, a very angry and dramatic person that just cannot deal with a certain situation at the time.”
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Since the two separated, Portwood has moved on, dating Glennon, a cinematographer. The two are expecting their first child — a boy — in May.
“I’m very glad that I got out of that relationship and I hope nothing but the best for him,” she says. “My life is a lot better and as a person, I’m a completely changed person.”
Baier has also moved on. He married Jennifer Kathleen Conlon in November.
Teen Mom OG airs Mondays (9 p.m. ET) on MTV.