Ant McPartlin has opened up about his problems with prescription drug abuse and alcohol in his first interview since leaving rehab.
In June this year, the Britain's Got Talent presenter revealed he had checked himself into rehab to treat his issues with prescription drugs.
After completing treatment during a two-month stay, Ant has now given an in-depth interview explaining how damaging his knee in 2014 led him on a three year-descent into a serious prescription drug addiction, as well as problems with depression.
"I was at the point where anything - prescription drugs, non-prescription drugs - I would take," Ant told The Sun on Sunday. "And take them with alcohol, which is ridiculous. The doctors told me, 'You could have killed yourself.'
"I was insane. It sends you crazy. It was to the point of hearing things, seeing things in the garden and still the pain was getting worse.
"I was depressed through the whole thing because I was in pain and immobile."
During the interview, which was published online in three parts today (August 13), Ant opened up about the extent of his drug abuse as well as the impact it had on his marriage, saying it had put a strain on his relationship.
"I've put Lisa through hell with mood swings and depression and how it affects you," he said. "In hindsight, I should have mentioned it earlier but you're embarrassed about it."
Speaking out about his depression is something Ant say he's realised he wished he'd told someone about sooner, but her acknowledges that men can find it hard to address.
"I wish I had done, but you're embarrassed," he added. "Men especially are embarrassed to say they're depressed or going through depression."
During the interview, Ant also revealed how how his presenting buddy Dec Donnelly helped him make his first step towards recovery, and how he can't get wait to get back to work.
In fact, he can't quite imagine Dec presenting alone or working with someone else.
He added: "We work a lot, me and Dec. We love it. But this whole period has shown we need to look after our health properly.
"We've got a gruelling schedule - don't get me wrong, I love it - and I want to do it with Dec and he wants to do it with me.
"Dec completely gets it. He would find it very odd to do it with someone else or do it on his own. It would be really weird. I wouldn't watch it!"
Readers affected by the issues raised in this story are encouraged to contact Samaritans free on 116 123 (www.samaritans.org) or Mind on 0300 123 3393 (www.mind.org.uk). Readers in the US are encouraged to contact the National Suicide Prevention Line on 1-800-273-8255.
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