Welcome to A Millennial's Dating Diary series, where we explore real-life interactions and the hurdles of dating in Southeast Asia. The series will feature the dating stories and misadventures of Arika – a 26-year-old, straight female marketing manager with a penchant for over drinking — and fellow millennials.
If there’s one thing I’ve noticed from the guys I casually saw in the past, it’s that they’ve all possessed some level of condom etiquette.
In essence, they knew the importance of a condom, and I didn’t need to nag at them about the dangers of potentially contracting an STD. Most of them were almost always ready with one if we hit it off that night.
It’s such a breath of fresh air when a guy actually knows the ins and out — pun unintended — of hooking up responsibly
The one time I did sleep with someone without a condom, I got a yeast infection pretty much two days afterwards, which scarred me for life. The day I found out I had a yeast infection, I prayed to God for the first time in a long time and thanked the universe I didn’t get an STD.
That being said, I’ve been really lucky.
My friends, however, have not always been so lucky.
“Once, on a date with this guy, he tried to convince me that if we timed it right, we could have sex without a condom,” says my friend *Emma, 28.
“He kept trying to tell me that if we sleep together a few days after my period that nothing will happen. Of course, I knew better. But it was such a turn-off having a guy mansplain your own body to you that way.”
Obviously, I saw her point.
The last thing I’d want to do in the middle of making out and getting turned on is to have to stop and educate someone about the concept of safe sex — regardless of how cute he is.
My other friend, *Heather, 34, shares that she, too, has had issues with guys not wanting to put on a condom.
“They make it seem like they’re doing me a favour by wearing a condom when in reality they’re doing both of us a favour. Don’t they realise that the more they try to avoid putting on a condom, the less likely it is they’ll get laid?”
“I’m so tired of them complaining that they lack sensation, or that it makes things less intimate. Resisting a condom already makes things less intimate.”
In fairness, I’ve not had very few issues with guys not wanting to wear a condom, so I know for a fact that men can possess proper condom etiquette.
For both Emma and Heather, it’s extra sexy when a guy automatically reaches for a condom, and seamlessly puts it on.
“It’s such a breath of fresh air when a guy actually knows the ins and out — pun unintended — of hooking up responsibly”, they both agreed.
These days, both girls say they keep condoms in their rooms or carry at least one when they know they’re going out with someone.
It’s true. There’s almost no excuse not to know the basics of safe sex in this day and age and not be aware of the risks involved when sleeping. “Sex is meant to be fun, and hooking up shouldn’t be stress-inducing,” sums up Heather. “If they refuse to put on a condom, I’m out of there.”
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