Think of it as “gay for pray.”
Elijah Daniel decided Friday that he was going rewrite the Good Book to make it good and gay.
im going to rewrite the entire bible but change it to be gayer just to piss straights off— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 15, 2017
that was a joke but also thats how everything i do starts im rewriting the fucking bible now— fagdad elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 15, 2017
im making jesus a powerbottom. i'm gonna change wine into mimosas.— fagdad elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 15, 2017
God may have created the Earth and heavens in six days, but apparently Daniel only needed two to write his book and turn it into a Kindle edition on Amazon.
Last month, Daniel managed to worm his way to the mayorship of Hell, Michigan, in just two days. He immediately outlawed heterosexuality before being impeached.
From the first sentence, it is clear that Daniel’s version has some fundamental differences with the standard Scriptures.
off to a great start pic.twitter.com/yTWT9H5yI4— fagdad elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 15, 2017
In Daniel’s version, Carly Rae Jepsen replaces Noah on the ark and Jesus turns water into mimosas, not wine.
making god rihanna and noah carly rae jepsen really makes the bible so much better pic.twitter.com/oJAjyzhdtz— fagdad elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 15, 2017
Daniel also changed the name of Satan to Donald Trump (but you probably suspected that).
So far, Amazon reviewers are singing the praises of “The Holy Bible ... But Gayer.” It’s averaging 4.9 stars out of 5 from more than 100 reviews.
Some of the comments include:
“Finally a Bible that speaks the truth! Will make a great read with the family when we gather for the holidays!!”
“I read this to my Christian relatives over brunch. Appetizers were thrown and jaws dragged across the floor. Gag. Today was a good slay for this gay.”
Some reviewers did praise it, but with reservations.
“I only gave it four out of five stars for the outrageous lack of lesbians. But it’s already pretty gay so I still recommend it to everyone, human or not.”
The response toward Daniel’s book pushed it to No.1 on Amazon’s list of Christian eBooks and Bibles until it was briefly removed, according to the Independent.
However, Daniel soon discovered the Lord does provide.
HAHAHAHAHA AMAZON EMAILED ME AN APOLOGY SAYING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT OK ME 2 pic.twitter.com/hJ17UhiwfH— fagdad elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 18, 2017
- This article originally appeared on HuffPost.