'I had to drink myself silly': Paris Hilton recalls lack of trust when she filmed her sex tape

Paris Hilton had to "drink [herself] silly" to be able to make her sex tape.
The 41-year-old heiress was launching her reality series 'The Simple Life' with Nicole Richie in 2004 when her former boyfriend Rick Salomon distributed an explicit home video titled '1 Night In Paris' and alleged that she "doesn't remember much" about shooting the tape three years earlier because she was under the influence of alcohol and sedatives and claimed that she was coerced into filming it in the first place.
In an excerpt from her new book, 'Paris: The Memoir', she writes: "I don’t remember that much about the night he wanted to make a videotape while we made love. I wasn't capable of the level of trust required to make a videotape like that. I had to drink myself silly. Quaaludes helped. But I did it. I have to own that. I knew what he wanted, and I went with it.
"He told me if I wouldn’t do it, he could easily find someone who would, and that was the worst thing I could think of - to be dumped by this grown man because I was a stupid kid who didn’t know how to play grown-up games. The truth is, I wanted to be alive in a sensual way. I wanted to feel like a woman who’s comfortable in her own skin."
The 'Paris in Love' star - who is now married to entrepreneur Carter Reum and has two-month-old son Phoenix with him - went on to add that the release of the tape meant that the career she had envisioned for herself was no longer possible and insisted that had she had any say in the release of the tape, she would have "capitalised" on it without any apology.
She added: "Certainly, the career I had envisioned was no longer possible. Everything I wanted my brand to be, the trust and respect I was trying to rebuild with my parents, the sliver of self-worth I’d been able to recover - all that was instantly in ruins. If this was something I had chosen to do, I would have owned it... I would have stood by it, capitalized on it, licensed the shit out of every frame, and then boogied on over to the bank without apologizing to anyone."