Hayley Williams: My dog is the reason I'm alive


Hayley Williams' dog is the "reason [she's] alive".

The Paramore singer fell into depression following the release of her band's 2017 album 'After Laughter', and has said that whilst life is "still hard" for her at times, she can push through because she knows her pet pooch will always be "waiting on [her] to get home".

She said: "During 'After Laughter' it was really rough. My dog is the reason I'm alive, because he would've been waiting on me to get home, no matter what. You know how little sweet little puppies sit and they wait, I couldn't think about it. Whoa, never cried in an interview before. I just couldn't. And I'm glad, you know? Because life is still hard. It didn't become a breeze overnight or anything and it's been years and it's still not a breeze, but it's so rich and now that I'm taking account of all these feelings and I'm feeling all of them, there's this beautiful rainbow versus just the deep end."

The 31-year-old musician channelled her negative thoughts into her music, and is thankful for her Paramore band mate Taylor York for helping her understand that anger isn't always a "bad emotion".

She added: "The way that I experience my anger is heat in my face, it's visceral. I think I mostly tap into it without shame when it's for the sake of somebody else. When it's for me I go straight into shame.

"Taylor's the first person that ever told me anger is neither a bad nor a good emotion. It's just an emotion. It's a feeling. It's a thing. You don't have to assign it to something. Just let it breathe. Just feel it. I had the hardest time being angry while we were writing 'After Laughter' and I clearly had a lot of to be mad about. But I was depressed. And I think often depression is masking other pointed feelings."

Hayley had to go to "intensive therapy" following her struggle with depression, but ultimately thinks it helped her stop "self-sabotaging" herself.

The 'Simmer' singer told Zane Lowe on Apple Music's Beats 1 Radio: "I had to go to intensive therapy. It was rough. It forced me to ask a lot of questions, ask my mom a lot of questions about what happened. I was too young to understand why do I do this? Because I was making a lot of mistakes in my personal life. I was self-sabotaging left and right. And I joke about it in songs, Paramore songs, but it's not funny to live it, right?"