The former yoga instructor — who shares six children with Alec Baldwin — posted on Instagram about the "darkness" and "pain" she experienced when she lost two pregnancies in 2019. However, she rejoiced in the births of her rainbow babies — Eduardo, 11 months, and María Lucía, 6 months — who were born after those losses.
"Today is rainbow baby day," she wrote of the annual Aug. 22 holiday. "When I lost my babies in 2019, I will always remember thinking my tears would never stop. I will always be sad, they still flow from time to time, and I hold this sadness written permanently in the pages of my life’s book."
She continued, "I also welcome and rejoice in my two rainbow babies, feeling that I am such a lucky mama," welcoming Edu naturally and then Marilu via surrogate.
Hilaria said of sharing about the losses, "We open and heal out loud not only for ourselves, but to let our sisters know that they are not alone. My mantra was: I’m not ok, but I want to be ok. This hurts, I want to process, I’ll allow myself to vent the pain, and I want to see the beauty in life again."
She ended by writing, "I do think that touching such darkness makes us see the light differently — not better—just differently. I love you all, I support you all, and may you know that I am with you — there are many of us. you are not alone."
Hilaria, who married Alec in 2012, first shared that she was experiencing a miscarriage in April 2019. When she had a second on in November of that year, she made it clear, "We are not OK right now."
Alec, also dad to adult daughter Ireland Baldwin, has also opened up about the pain of pregnancy loss, admitting, "It did break my heart a little bit."
There was celebration when Edu arrived nearly a year ago. They have not yet detailed the journey behind Marilu being born via a surrogate in February. However, Hilaria has said she hasn't found a simple way to explain the narrow age difference between her two rainbow babies.
"Whenever I meet people and they ask me my kids’ ages, I wait for their awkward moment when they calculate the age difference of my last two babies," Hilaria wrote earlier this month. "I have yet to come up with the seamless way to explain it. It is such a wild story, that I haven’t quite mastered it yet."
She said went on to say, "Becoming a mommy in this way, what makes us family, connected, communities… what makes us belong. The paths and nuances may be different, but the meaningfulness is what gives purpose to our existence. Not to sound too yoga schmoga, but it’s love, belonging, and acceptance… focusing on the soul and the being rather than the very outward simplicity of our shells or what we see others doing. Labels, shoulds and shouldnts, sometimes seem lazy and shortsighted to me now. How can we fit all of our being into limiting words? We are all on this path to connect and live our lives to their fullest capacity— acceptance is the greatest gift we can respect into each other."