Jennifer Lopez's multiple marriages aren't as uncommon as you might think

·Contributor, Yahoo Life UK
·6-min read
Jennifer Lopez has been married four times, joining a growing band of multi-marrieds. (Getty Images)
Jennifer Lopez has been married four times, joining a growing band of multi-marrieds. (Getty Images)

Earlier this week Jennifer Lopez announced the news she had tied the knot with her second-time beau Ben Affleck.

The couple, who were engaged in the early 2000s before splitting up for 17 years, married on Saturday night at The Little White Chapel, Las Vegas, according to Lopez.

“We did it. Love is beautiful. Love is kind. And it turns out love is patient. Twenty years patient,” Lopez, 52, wrote on her personal fan newsletter, On The JLo, on Sunday.

The happy occasion marks the Jenny From The Block singer's fourth marriage, and the second for Affleck, who was previously married to actress Jennifer Garner.

After a whirlwind romance, Lopez wed her first husband, waiter Ojani Noa, on February 22, 1997, with the marriage lasting 11 months before the couple got divorced.

The singer then married Cris Judd, her former backup dancer, on September 29, 2001, going on to split just over a year later.

Read more: Why do so many women like changing their names when they marry like Jennifer Lopez?

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck on the red carpet, pictured in Feb 2022. (Photo by Rich Fury/WireImage)
Jennifer Lopez married Ben Affleck over the weekend, the fourth time the singer has wed, pictured together in Feb 2022. (Photo by Rich Fury/WireImage)

After their divorce, Lopez started dating co-star Affleck after meeting on the set of movie Gigli, but following their high profile break-up in 2004, the Marry Me actor got together with Marc Anthony.

The couple, who share twins, Max and Emme, tied the knot on June 5, 2004 and were together for seven years before divorcing in July 2011.

Speaking on her own YouTube channel about her previous weddings, J Lo said: "I've never been married in a church.

"I've been married three times, and once was nine months and once was 11 months, so I don't really count those."

Read more: Ben Affleck opens up on his ‘beautiful’ reunion with Jennifer Lopez: 'It's a great story'

The rise of the multi-marrieds

JLo or JAf, as she could now be known, joins a growing band of celebrities to join the multi-marrieds party.

While many celebrity marriages have the unfortunate reputation of ending in divorce, just because some have been unlucky in love with one relationship doesn't mean they've given up hope.

In fact, a lot of stars have had three or more marriages in their pursuit of lasting love, just like the new Mrs Affleck.

Mare of Easttown actor Kate Winslet has been married three times - to assistant director Jim Threapleton from 1998 to 2001; then director Sam Mendes from 2003 to 2010, and in 2012 she wed businessman Ned Rocknroll.

Halle Berry is also part of the three husbands club. First was baseball player David Justice from 1992 to 1997, followed by musician Eric Benét from 2001 to 2005, then French actor Olivier Martinez from 2013 to 2016.

And Eva Longoria also has three wedding rings under her belt. First to actor Tyler Christopher from 2002 to 2004, then NBA player Tony Parker from 2007 to 2011. She married her third (and current) husband, businessman José Bastón, in 2016.

Affleck and Lopez steal a kiss in Venice earlier this month. (Getty Images)
Affleck and Lopez steal a kiss in Venice earlier this month. (Getty Images)

The multiple-marriage story is no different outside of Hollywood either.

According to the Office for National Statistics (ONS) in 2019 14.7% of marriages were among couples where both partners were remarrying.

Divorce statistics also seem to reinforce a growing trend in multiple marriages with 42% of all marriages ending in divorce.

While 59% of divorces involve partners in a first marriage, 18% have one partner who has previously been divorced and 8% of divorces have both partners having been married before, suggesting second-time marriages, or more, are less likely to end in divorce, giving hope to those wanting to walk down the aisle again.

Watch: 'I believe they found their soulmates': Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck's wedding minister says the couple 'will 100 per cent last'

So what's fuelling this rise in multi-marrieds?

Senior therapist Sally Baker says we are seeing more multiple marriages because tying the knot is still the aspirational bench mark for a committed relationship.

She points out, however, that the willingness to stick with an unrewarding marriage until death us do part is at all all time low.

"Divorced people blame their ex-spouse for the failure of their marriage but not the institution of marriage itself," she adds.

Read more: Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck wedding: Couple's most romantic quotes

The psychology of multi-marrieds

According to Barbara Santini, psychologist and sex advisor at Peachesandscreams.co.uk there are several advantages of having several marriages under your bridal garter, including increasing your chances of finding a compatible mate.

"Compatibility and chemistry allow you to express your thoughts in the relationship freely. To me, this can make the marriage last," she explains.

She also believes communication, key for any relationship, can be improved second or third time around.

"If your first marriage 'died' due to communication, having other marriages will push you to work on your communication skills," she says.

Equally, while there are many plus points of getting married more than once, there are also some aspects to be aware of.

"I’m not sure how much helpful experience and knowledge from a previous marriage is transferable to the next," explains Baker.

"What can unhelpfully be transferred from one’s past to one’s current marriage, however, is more often any unresolved triggers or emotionally sore wounds especially if a previous marriage ended in acrimony."

When it comes to the traits of serial bride and grooms, some might assume they may fear being alone or suffer from insecurities associated with being single.

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck tied the knot over the weekend, pictured in September 2021. (Getty Images)
Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck tied the knot over the weekend, pictured in September 2021. (Getty Images)

But Baker said that isn't necessarily the case.

"Some people love the idea of being married," she explains. "They feel they thrive in a committed relationship and are determined to make it work for them.

"Marriage can be the balm that eases feelings if anxiety and insecurity or it can be the crucible where the greatest harm takes place.

"It’s really not marriage itself it’s the people involved," she adds.

Equally some people may wonder whether those who marry several times, like Jennifer Lopez, have a greater capacity for love than average person?

Read more: 13 celebrity brides who have worn 'unconventional' outfits on their wedding day

But Baker believes it is more a case of them feeling a sense of hope and optimism.

"People who marry several times have perhaps a greater capacity for optimism than the average person," she explains.

"When a marriage ends in divorce it is the end of Plan A for two people who really wanted their marriage to endure.

"To be able to put previous marital failure firmly in the past and take that leap of faith again is an act of great courage."

Certainly Affleck nee Lopez felt optimistic about the fact that she might marry again, refusing to let the outcome of her previous weddings put her off the concept of getting spliced to her second-time beau.

Last year, the newlywed said on the Today show that she still believes in marriage, hinting she hoped to tie the knot with her rekindled love.

"I don't know, yeah, I guess," she said when asked if she would walk down the aisle again. "I still believe in happily ever after, for sure, 100%."

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