Jimmy Kimmel tried to use his time off due to the writers strike to get a vasectomy.
He made the appointment, and shaved his testicles to prepare.
“It’s complicated, and it’s a little bit scary,” he said. “There’s nothing smooth down there. It’s like shaving chewing gum.”
Kimmel visited the doctor, had an examination ― and then was told the actual procedure would require a second appointment.
Already the day didn’t go as planned.
But then it took a turn for the weird when Kimmel’s Uber driver overheard him talking about his vasectomy plans and suggested another option instead: “semen retention.”
That left the other hosts baffled.
“Did he have a bunch of jars in the front seat?” Colbert wondered.
“It it like holding in a sneeze?” Fallon asked.
“Honestly I think it’s something he learned about on one of these podcasts these young guys listen to,” Kimmel said.
He added that the driver claimed semen retention allowed him to “manifest” his desires.
“Then he said him meeting me in the Uber was one of his desires and it manifested somehow,” Kimmel said. “We had a very long ride home.”
“I think you may have inadvertently clicked that box on the Uber app to ‘please talk to me about semen retention,’” Oliver said. “That’s either a one-star ride or a five-star ride. And I think it might be both.”
Hear Kimmel explain what happened below on the podcast, which is to help support their staff members during the Hollywood strikes: