Kate Beckinsale has opened up about her own baby loss in support of Chrissy Teigen

Photo credit: Toni Anne Barson
Photo credit: Toni Anne Barson

From Harper's BAZAAR

Last week, Chrissy Teigen and John Legend shared the heartbreaking news that they lost their baby at around 20 weeks into their pregnancy.

Teigen, 34, had been bleeding for about a month and was taken to hospital when it started getting heavier. She said: "Every time I would go to the bathroom [there] would be blood... but today the big difference was that it was kind of like if you were to just turn a faucet on low and just leave it there."

Despite the best efforts of medics, tragically they lost their baby son shortly afterwards. Announcing the news on Instagram, she shared a carousel of black and white images of the couple and their baby boy, who they had named Jack.

While thousands have reached out to express their sadness for the family and extend their well wishes, others haven't been so kind, questioning why Teigen would share such personal news on Instagram and criticising the couple for posting images of such a loss. One user commented: "I feel those pictures are super personal and should have been kept private......".

Speaking out in defence of Teigen, actress Kate Beckinsale took to Instagram to reveal that she herself had experienced a similar miscarriage "many years ago" at around the same point.

She highlighted what a traumatic and lonely time this had been for her, and is for so many mothers—and fathers—who have suffered, questioning the trolls who said Teigen handled it the wrong way.

View this post on Instagram

I’ve noticed people criticizing @chrissyteigen for sharing deeply intimate photos of the loss of her baby. As if there’s some protocol during soul-scouring calamity that, if not observed, emboldens people who do not know her or her family to say how she should be handling the unimaginable. Years ago, I lost a baby at 20 weeks. I had managed to keep my pregnancy quiet and I absolutely collapsed inside and no one would have known. There is grief, shame and shock so often that come with an experience like this, plus the heartbreak of your body continuing, after the loss, to act as if it had a child to nurture. Your milk comes in, with no one to feed. It can be the loneliest, most soul destroying period of time, particularly if you are not in the position of having an emotionally connected, supportive partner like Chrissy has. I think it’s an honour to be allowed into another persons grief, especially with a subject like this which so often puts a woman into that hall of mirrors state of life continuing as if the world hasn’t, for you ,come to a bloody and terrible halt. Sending so much love to the Legend family, but also so much to the women and couples who have kept it quiet and suffered. I know there are so many. Thank you @chrissyteigen for making sure it is abundantly clear how devastating this is, and how life changing it can be without support. Let’s let the grieving decide what’s right for them. Send support or keep quiet . This is a really hard time to bear .Blessings and hugs to all x

A post shared by Kate Beckinsale (@katebeckinsale) on Oct 2, 2020 at 4:16am PDT

She also extended her best wishes to anyone who may have been through such an experience.

She shared: "I’ve noticed people criticising @chrissyteigen for sharing deeply intimate photos of the loss of her baby. As if there’s some protocol during soul-scouring calamity that, if not observed, emboldens people who do not know her or her family to say how she should be handling the unimaginable."

"Years ago, I lost a baby at 20 weeks. I had managed to keep my pregnancy quiet and I absolutely collapsed inside and no one would have known."

"There is grief, shame and shock so often that come with an experience like this, plus the heartbreak of your body continuing, after the loss, to act as if it had a child to nurture. Your milk comes in, with no one to feed. It can be the loneliest, most soul destroying period of time, particularly if you are not in the position of having an emotionally connected, supportive partner like Chrissy has."

"I think it’s an honour to be allowed into another persons grief, especially with a subject like this which so often puts a woman into that hall of mirrors state of life continuing as if the world hasn’t, for you ,come to a bloody and terrible halt."

"Sending so much love to the Legend family, but also so much to the women and couples who have kept it quiet and suffered. I know there are so many. Thank you @chrissyteigen for making sure it is abundantly clear how devastating this is, and how life changing it can be without support. Let’s let the grieving decide what’s right for them. Send support or keep quiet . This is a really hard time to bear .Blessings and hugs to all x"

Representatives at Tommy's charity, an organisation dedicated to researching miscarriage, premature birth and stillbirth and supporting families affected by it, have also commented, explaining that sharing your sadness can be "part of the healing process". Plus, they're sure that a celebrity couple of such status being so open will help soften the ongoing stigma surrounding losing a child.

They shared: "In the UK, 1 in 4 pregnancies will end in miscarriage, stillbirth or premature birth. Around 5000 families will experience Termination for Medical Reasons (TFMR). But baby loss is often not talked about."

"The emotional impact this has is devastating and leaves parents with so many unanswered questions. It leaves them isolated in their grief, and right now, amid the coronavirus pandemic, this isolation can be made worse by physical distance from family and friends. There is still silence and shame around baby loss. But if we can talk about it openly and honestly, not only can we help each other feel less alone, but we can also pave the way for greater awareness and more research to stop it happening."

They added, "Too many families leave the hospital with empty arms - we need to acknowledge the scale and impact of pregnancy and baby loss."

If you'd like to read up on the symptoms of miscarriage, you can here or, to join the Tommy’s Support Group on Facebook or to speak to a midwife on their free pregnancy line, head to tommys.org.

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