Maybe this is Tom Hanks' fault.
If you turn up to a Halloween party looking for the helpers — to help you get undressed, that is — then this Sexy Mr. Rogers costume might be just what you're after.
Channel a different kind of girl (or boy) next door vibe thanks to the 'Nicest Neighbor' getup. The set consists of a cropped, low-cut red sweater, a white collar with tiny tie, and tight, belted gray booty slacks.
Yes, you heard me. Those are booty slacks.
The site also sells a gray short-back-and-sides Lego-esque vinyl headpiece and hand puppets separately, if you want to take your 'fit from merely unnecessary to truly chilling.
(I'd recommend skipping the platform heels and opting for a nice pair of sneakers. The man himself wore Converse Skidgrips and Sperry Topsiders.)
Brought to you by Yandy, the same people who sold and then pulled last year's Sexy Handmaid costume, it's a particularly timely option given the anticipation for A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood, the Rogers biopic starring Hanks.
And hey, while it might be a little jarring, at least it's not appallingly tone-deaf.
Also, Fred Rogers was kind, great with kids, a snappy dresser with endless supplies of cosy cardigans to borrow, possibly a bisexual icon, and had fantastic eyebrow game. Who wouldn't swipe right on that?
As if there’s an unsexy Mr. Rogers https://t.co/0aV8Ja5wIm
— Jason Isbell (@JasonIsbell) September 18, 2019
Yandy's other Sexy options for 2019 include the Sexy Tariff, Sexy Beyond Burger, something called the Tater Thot, and a definitely non-Disney-affiliated Sexy Playtime Sheriff and To Infinity Space Ranger.
But if you want a classic TV twofer, you can't go wrong with this Sexy (not-) Happy Tree Painter for your costume buddy. The Bob Ross fro wig is as large as the cutoff shorts are small.