Kody Brown told his friends and brother in Sunday's 'Sister Wives' that he "can tell" he's "still in self-deception" after Christine Brown divorced him
Kody Brown is taking a hard look at his life — and what he did to end up where he is today.
In Sunday's episode of Sister Wives, Kody had a "therapy session" with his brother Michael, as well as friends Nathan and Brian, about the ongoing tension within his polygamous family and the issues within his many marriages. But as they provide a listening ear, his brother and friends aren't there to sugarcoat him.
Kody first opened up about his issues with ex-wife Christine Brown and the struggles he's faced navigating life post-divorce. "All I'm thinking about is the fact that she's leaving me, and I'm bitter and I'm yelling about it," the 54-year-old began.
As his pal Brian noted the "stages of grief" Kody has faced post-split, the Brown family patriarch said he was in "disbelief" over everything that has happened with Christine. Kody specifically recalled the "shock" he felt after discovering Christine, 51, had packed up his belongings from her home.
"I'm still in the anger state," Kody admitted in a separate interview. "It's over now. Christine's left, but I'm still feeling a lot of anger about [the], sort of, fallout. Sort of the civil war with the family."
Kody then told the group of guys that he went from "relief" to "anger" while processing the aftermath of the pair's breakup. He even confessed to researching online "how to get things amiable with kids and stuff like that" after a divorce — but that process only led to further anger.
"What it is is this really big, like, walk away from women movement. And it's about angry men who have been left," he said.
"I think that might of been a touch of poison because I got angry," he continued. "So I'm going around to Robyn and to Janelle, and they feel like I am a woman hater. Like, Robyn actually said this is affecting our relationship in a terrible way."
Kody's friend Nathan, who also has experience with navigating the fallout of polygamous marriages, advised that he try to understand the "root" of his anger.
"The thing I kind of want to express to you is when you encounter anger, the root of anger is in two things. It's either in fear or it's in self-delusion or self-deception," Nathan explained. "You have to look in the mirror and see the good, the bad and the ugly, and own everything completely."
To that, Kody acknowledged, "I'm still in self-deception. I can tell."
"When Christine told me she didn't want me staying at her place anymore, where I was ambivalent, the reason I was ambivalent, I think, was because I thought she was playing a game," he then said in a confessional. "So her being going, really, the fallout with the whole family, is grief."
Kody added, "The whole breakup, the divorce, is, oh now I got this checkmark of shame."
The fallout from his three marriages, as well as ongoing family tension, are being explored at length in the TLC hit's 18th season.
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Sister Wives airs Sundays at 10 p.m. ET on TLC.
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