We watched the feature length Jake Paul docu-series finale so you don't have to

"I want a whole cake after all this is over," Shane Dawson says when Jake Paul and his girlfriend Erika Costell stroll up to his house holding baby pink cake pops shortly before their last interview. 

Honestly, us too, Shane. 

Welcome to Inside the Mind of Jake Paul, the feature length finale to the docu-series that dove into the whirlwind of growing up on camera. The eighth episode clocks in at a whopping 1 hour and 45 minutes, but if you're a functional human being who doesn't have the time to invest in watching Shane unpack all of Jake's undiscussed trauma, don't worry about it: We watched every agonizing minute of it so that you don't have to. 

SEE ALSO: Jake Paul's ex reveals ugly side of their relationship in part 7 of Shane Dawson's docu-series

You might want to sit down for this. There's a lot that went down in this finale. 

Here's what Shane and Jake talked about in their one-on-one interview:

#Jerika 

Despite rumors of a faked relationship for YouTube clicks, Jake and Erika seem to be a very real, very grounded couple. After two years of working with each other, one year of having a fling, and about four months of actually being in an official committed relationship, they both admit that they're good for each other, even with the baggage Jake still deals with from his disastrous love triangle between him, his ex-girlfriend, and his older brother. 

"I have a lot of trust issues from that," Jake tells Shane. "Erika had to teach me how to love."

The Martinez Twins 

Jake appears to have some sort of savior complex when it comes to the Ivan and Emilio Martinez, who left Team 10 in 2017. He says he personally scouted them from their hometown in Catalonia, Spain, taught them English, and mentored them in growing a social media following. Despite their claims of abuse and bullying, Jake says they were "just pranks" and that all of their videos were scripted. 

"I love them as little brothers," he says. "It was more than me helping them get followers."

He won't take accountability for racist jokes and microaggressions against them, though, because "anything was a joke for us." But he did apologize in a 2017 response video. 

His public image

Jake does acknowledge that his obnoxious persona is "cocky." For example, when he climbed the KTLA news van

Jake also understands he's a controversial of a public figure. 

"As the list of controversies piled up," he rants. "There just became this bandwagon of 'Fuck Jake Paul.' Every little thing you do from there on out just amplifies." 

The original Team 10 house and its neighbors

According to former Team 10 COO Nick Crompton, a company employee tried to add the house's address to an event on Google. Instead, he accidentally published the address on Google Maps, inviting hordes of fans to swarm the social media incubator. Fellow West Hollywood residents were furious that their neighborhood had become a tourist attraction for screaming preteens, which led to the KTLA profile and helped introduce much of the world to Jake Paul. 

"We tell fans not to come, we have our own security 24/7," Jake sighs. "I hated it too. I felt like a prisoner in my own house ... really the only situation was for us to leave, which we tried to do as fast as possible."

He also admits that the massive pool fire he and his roommates set in the backyard was a mistake. 

"As I got more views and more money ... In the back of your head, you're like let's just keep on going," he says. "We'll do whatever we want for content. I would just act and not really care what the result was." 

Constantly pushing merch to little kids

Jake is incredulous that his merch-peddling is harmful to his young views. 

"Honestly I think it's really stupid that people think it's manipulative," he rants. "Just because my fans are younger, does that mean I'm manipulating them? I don't think a kid would actually believe that and be like, 'Wow, I'm not cool if I don't have this." 

Shane attempts to call him out:

When Shane tells Jake that he has "a lot of power" and therefore "responsibility," he seems to reconsider. Barely. 

"But I don't want to become so squeaky clean that it's not fun anymore," Jake complains. 

His ex-girlfriend Alissa Violet and her affair with his brother Logan Paul

"I wasn't, at the time, mature enough to know how to be a boyfriend," Jake admits. He calls his on-again, off-again relationship with Alissa a "toxic situation" because they were not only dating, but they were also living together and working together. 

He believes that she started her affair with his brother "out of spite," to "get revenge" for the way he treated her. When a friend sat him down and told him that she and Logan were sleeping together, he says he "stayed silent for three days." 

"I was heartbroken, for many reasons," Jake says on the verge of tears. "Yes, in our fucked up relationship we did a lot of things to hurt each other, but that was like ... that was it for me. It was the most alone I've ever felt in my life." 

SEE ALSO: Jake Paul's ex reveals ugly side of their relationship in part 7 of Shane Dawson's docu-series

According to Jake, he gave Alissa 30 days to move out of the Team 10 house and offered to pay for an Airbnb for her to stay in until she found her own place. When she refused to leave, he hired a moving truck — which is apparently when the viral Snapchats of her belongings in the foyer began making their rounds. 

Explaining that he was "more disappointed" in Logan, Jake says he forgave his brother because if he let it "manipulate" his life, then he'd be "giving her what she wanted." 

Assault allegations against Alissa's new boyfriend, Faze Banks

In response to his assistant's assault allegations against Faze Banks, Jake and Team 10 launched a feud against the other YouTuber

"Out of all the shit that I've done, I feel so stupid even talking about the situation now," Jake laments. "It was too real and too hostile." 

Shane points out the culture of YouTubers trying to destroy each other, but says the situation with Faze Banks was "next level because it involves assault." 

In a surprising gesture of maturity, Jake pulls out his phone and deletes the video from his channel. 

Logan's suicide forest debacle

"It dramatically affected my business, just as much as it affected him, because people think we're the same," Jake says.

He says he lost two seven-figure brand deals because his name was so deeply tied to his brothers and admits that he didn't watch the video before it was posted. He also resents the fact that his reputation was destroyed because of his brother. 

His creepy dad Greg Paul, and working with family 

Jake is 21 years old, and seems to really need a parental figure in his life right now:

The future of his career

At the end of the video, Jake and Erika explain that they're finally going on vacation. 

"I hate the drama now, it's so overplayed," Jake says while discussing the Alissa/Logan disaster. At the end of the finale, he admits that he just wants to "completely disconnect from social media." 

"The last thing I need is another 'Why I left Team 10' video," he laughs. 

So is he a sociopath? Probably not — and without a licensed therapist who specializes in working with people who have antisocial personality disorders, no one should make that claim. What he does appear to be, though, is a kid with too much money and a reputation that precedes him. But he looks forward to leaving his past behind and figuring out where his career is going.

"I made all these mistakes, I have all this knowledge now," Jake muses. "I made a name for myself, but it's like ... What am I gonna do with that? And to me, that's exciting." 

But as we've come to know Jake Paul, we'll see if he actually does move on from the life of drama that he's created.

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