As a new mom, Whitney Port is experiencing the highs and lows of caring for a baby for the first time ― from sleep challenges to breastfeeding.
The former reality star opened up about her nursing struggles in an emotional YouTube video titled, “I Love My Baby, But... I Haven’t Loved Breastfeeding That Much.”
“I’m not obsessed with breastfeeding. There. I said it. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the fact that my baby is getting all the amazing nutrients from my milk and that I am literally giving him life, but it has been quite the challenge. A challenge I didn’t feel prepared for at all,” she wrote in the YouTube description.
Port and her husband, Tim Rosenman, welcomed their first child, a baby boy named Sonny, in late July. In the video, the new mom said she really wanted to breastfeed her baby, but was disheartened to find how painful it was for her.
“It feels like someone’s like, slicing my nipples with glass,” she recalled saying on one of her first days home from the hospital.
When she reached her breaking point, Port started feeding her son pumped breast milk and formula and made an appointment with a lactation consultant, who suggested the baby’s tongue-tie might be causing the issue. But even after the procedure to address his tongue-tie, the pain persisted.
Port teared up talking about how she feels about her breastfeeding challenges. “I think I’m just tired and I obviously want to breastfeed,” she said. “I guess because that’s what people say is the best bonding experience.
The mom noted that she feels pressure from other people to keep trying to breastfeed, but the prospect of no improvement and continued pain makes her feel very anxious.
“Like, how much longer do I continue to try it before I just give up and pump and give him the bottles and be OK with it?” Port said. “A lot of the new moms and my friends have said not to put so much pressure on myself and that they pumped or switched off and that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.”
Port’s video has been viewed more than 180,000 times. Ultimately, the new mom said she would tell other women in her position to not worry about outside pressure and to follow their hearts ― something she’s struggling to do.
“I think some of the things I’m feeling, I’m right for feeling ― I think that they’re real issues,” she said at the end of her video. “And some things are probably being magnified by my hormones and these post-baby blues that people talk about... But I think it’s all normal.”
- This article originally appeared on HuffPost.