During this scary and strange time of Covid-19, it's entirely reasonable to feel anxious, out of control and concerned for your loved ones and the future. And, while it's important to stay informed (and stay indoors), it's also a time to prioritise your mental health and sometimes that means having a bit of a laugh during a dark time.
Enter the coronavirus conspiracy theories.
While the mainstream media coverage of the current global pandemic is generally factually accurate, there's also a whole load of positive coronavirus news out there, and even a dash of pretty silly 'reporting' thrown in for fun as well.
From psychic predictions to giant lasagnes, these are the most hilarious coronavirus conspiracies circling the internet right now...
Disclaimer: In all seriousness, it's easy to feel panicked and overwhelmed in the current climate. Read the real news from official broadcasters and have a good laugh at, or simply ignore, unfounded claims on Twitter, Instagram and the rest of the internet. If some conspiracy silliness helps ease your mind right now, then great. If not, read some positive news instead or give your brain an information break.
1.The Covid-19 Vaccine Will Contain A Microchip
Despite the majority of us keeping our fingers crossed for a Covid-19 vaccine to be developed as soon as possible, others on the internet are sceptical about the benefits of a such a cure.
In fact, Youtuber David Icke claimed that a coronavirus vaccine, when there is one, will contain 'nanotechnology microchips' that would in theory allow humans to be controlled.
i’m not an anti vaxxer but i am not getting that coronavirus vaccine they not gonna microchip me lol— ashton 🥱 (@liteskin3000) April 1, 2020
2. Covid-19 Was Deliberately Made In A Lab
According to a new report from the Pew Research Center in the US, a third of Americans surveyed believe that Covid-19 was created by humans in a lab.
The survey asked 8,914 American adults whether they that 1) the current strain of the coronavirus 'came about naturally'; 2) “was developed intentionally in a lab'; 3) 'was made accidentally in a lab'; or 4) 'doesn’t really exist'.
Thankfully, 43% of those surveyed do believe that Covid-19 occurred naturally.
3. Vodka Can Be Used As Hand Sanitiser
Despite official information advising the public to use hand sanitiser with an alcohol content of at least 60%, this does not mean that your regular bottle of vodka will do the same job. Unfortunately, 32% of adults in the UK surveyed by YouGov believe this to be true. Best to stick to the anti-bacterial gel rather than the booze.
4. Being Able To Hold Your Breath For 10 Seconds Means You Don't Have Coronavirus
As self-diagnosis tests go, this might qualify as the most simplistic. Claimed in an false chain email purporting to be sent by NHS staff, the theory that being able to hold your breath for 10 seconds without any discomfort confirms that you're not infected with Covid-19 is, alas, unfounded.
5. Eating Garlic Prevents Coronavirus
Legendary for warding off vampires and potential lovers, garlic has gained a new, and false, property - protecting against Coronavirus. A misguided theory that lead to a Chinese woman being hospitalised with an inflamed throat after she ate 1.5kg of raw garlic in an attempt to prevent contracting the infection. Unfortunately, us Britons aren't particularly educated on the subject either, with 4% of those surveyed believing that eating garlic would definitely or probably help prevent coronavirus.
6. DisneyPlus Released Covid-19 In Time For Its Launch
It might just be pure coincidence, but the conspiracy theorists on the internet are convinced that Disney launched their own streaming service conveniently in time for the Coronavirus lockdown. Well we do have more time to watch Frozen II now...
7. Covid-19 Arrived From Space
Kicking off the coronavirus conspiracies is a classic 'aliens did it' theory.
According to Professor Chandra Wickramasinghe, of the Buckingham Centre for Astrobiology, Covid-19 arrived on earth via a fireball from space that burnt up in China last October.
Currently, there have been no reports of meteorites found here so...
8. Covid-19 Is, In Fact, 5G Attacking Our Brains
If you thought that all of your frustration at your phone's 4G rinsing your battery and simply not working well was finally over with the arrival of the mythical 5G, then think again. Because, according to the internet, 5G towers are, in fact, the cause of Coronavirus.
[twitter align='center' id='1239634557189656576' username='KeriHilson']https://twitter.com/KeriHilson/status/1239634557189656576[/twitte]
Even the A-list are getting in on the 5G conspiracy action with singer Keri Hilson supporting the theory before being advised to delete her commentary on the matter. It's fine, Hilson only has 4.2 million followers so her influence is limited...
9. A Psychic Predicted Covid-19 Back In 2008
Continuing the celebrity coronavirus conspiracy train is Kim Kardashian who tweeted a page from a book written by psychic Silvia Brown. The text, sent by Kim's sister Kourtney, appears to 'predict' the Covid-19 outbreak back in 2008, reading:
'In around 2020 a severe pneumonia-like illness will spread throughout the globe, attacking the lungs and the bronchial tubes and resisting all known treatments. Almost more baffling than the illness itself will be the fact that it will suddenly vanish as quickly as it arrived, attack again 10 years later and then disappear completely.'
Kourtney just sent this on our group chat pic.twitter.com/XyjGajY71d— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) March 12, 2020
10. The UK Government Are Baking A Giant Lasagne
If you haven't heard the genius and totally hilarious voice note about a giant lasagne making the rounds yet, then you're in for a treat. Beginning as a seemingly serious proposition by the UK government, the recording goes on to describe a Wembley-sized lasagne being baked in the stadium with the help of drones to lift the pasta sheets. If you're in the mood for some light relief, then this is for you.
The story has gained so much traction, it's even got its own Instagram account now. You're welcome.
11. The French Government Are Making A Ginormous Garlic Bread
A second instalment to the hilarious 'Wembley Lasagne' story, this recording details the French Government's plans to bake a ginormous garlic bread the size of the Channel Tunnel. Of course, as is only fair, the gargantuan loaf would be shared between England and France. Brexit who?
12. Cocaine Protects Against Covid-19
A conspiracy theory possibly conjured up by optimistic party-goers recently confined to their own houses due to self-isolation, the idea that cocaine protects against Covid-19 was first propositioned on Twitter.
The original tweet gained so much momentum that the French Government were forced to comment, confirming in no uncertain terms that: 'No, cocaine does not protect against COVID-19'.
13. Drinking Cow Urine Also Protects Against Covid-19
Next up in the series of substances that are claimed to stop the effects of Covid-19 - cow urine. Yup, in India, over 200 people amassed (not a great idea in itself during social distancing) to drink cow urine whilst posing next to a caricature of Coronavirus. In Hinduism cows are considered sacred, with some followers of the religion believing their urine holds medicinal properties.
Inevitably, there have been no studies proving that the consumption of cow urine protects against or aids the effects of Covid-19. We'd stick with staying at home and washing your hands.
14. Coconut Oil Also Cures Covid-19
Taking the wellness obsession with coconut oil one step further is the coronavirus conspiracy theory that the oil's lauric content can stop the illness. As of yet, no definitive cure or vaccine for Covid-19 has been formulated and with no factual information on coconut oil's benefits for coronavirus victims, we'd stick to using it in curries and on your scalp for now.
15. Greta Thunberg Caused Covid-19 To Help With Climate Change
We don't even want to dignify this one with a comment, but here we are. With transportation cuts taking place as a result of government advice to avoid non-essential travel, it's possible that the environment may benefit from the reduced emissions. Which is a great positive to take from an awful situation, agreed.
Does it mean environmental activist Greta Thunberg invented Covid-19? Probably not.
16. Covid-19 Is A Marketing Scheme By Hand Sanitiser Companies
With hand washing a key element in the communication around Coronavirus prevention, hand sanitiser has seen a meteoric rise from Glastonbury essential, to the most sought after item in modern history. As such, the internet has deduced that Covid-19 is in fact a marketing scheme devised by anti-bac gel companies to up sales. Sounds plausible.
It's all a marketing scheme by "big-ventilator", "big-PPE" and "big-handsanitazer" to push up sales and share prices.— ReclusyMedic (@petridishZA) March 10, 2020
Prove me wrong.
17. Covid-19 Was Created By Netflix To Tie In With Their New Series
Could it be sheer coincidence or did Netflix take marketing schemes to the next level by creating Covid-19 to promote their new docu-series 'Pandemic'? The streaming platform's new show discusses how to prevent an outbreak and launched suspiciously around the same time that the global pandemic escalated. Did they invent self-isolation as well? We are watching a lot more TV now...
18. Russia Have Released Lions To Enforce Social Distancing
Instagram has done it again with parody account @lookatthisrussian 'reporting' that Russia have released lions into the streets to enforce self-isolation.
Despite clearly being entirely untrue, if lions in the street is what it takes to make people stay at home, perhaps the UK government could consider the scheme?
Like this article? Sign up to our newsletter to get more articles like this delivered straight to your inbox.
You Might Also Like