Maybe you have a Pinterest board of pink and red outfits and a dinner reservation secured months in advance, or maybe you’re reading this Valentine's Day sex guide in desperate search of some way to make this kinda kitschy holiday a little less cutesy and a lot more kinky. Whatever team you're on (we get it, Cupid can be very divisive), trust that there are SO many ways to experience love and pleasure this Valentine's Day. Whether your V-Day vibe is more romantic massage or kinky sex games, we've got you covered with plenty of ideas to make this Valentine’s Day your sexiest yet.
Because here's the thing: As you know all too well if you’ve walked past literally any high street shop overflowing with heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and teddy bears this time of year, Valentine's Day is coming, like it or not. You can stress about it, you can dread it, or you can commit to having a hell of a good time and some heavenly sex. Whether horning up your February 14th plans involves candle-lit lovemaking or rebelling against the lovey-dovey-ness of it all by getting down and dirty with some kinky fantasies, V-Day is the perfect time to prioritise your sex life.
Oh, and BTW, you do *not* need to have a long-term partner to make the most of all this sexual Valentine’s Day potential—getting it on with a crush, a friendly fuck-buddy, or yourself (hellooo sensual solo sex!) is all very much encouraged. So whether you’re in a hot and heavy new situationship, looking to get a little spicy with your long-term love, or simply feeling yourself (literally) this V-Day, allow us to suggest trying out one of these steamy Valentine’s Day sex ideas—though, of course, you’re more than welcome to give ’em a whirl all year round. 😉
Bring in a third
Now, a threesome might not be the romantic, candle-lit evening you had in mind, but hear us out. If you and your partner are feeling a little ~adventurous~ this year, why not act like a rebel and use Valentine’s Day as a fun and slightly ironic excuse to finally go out on a date (or maybe more) with a third? And if you’re single and still in need of V-Day plans, hi, here’s your sign to join another couple for theirs!
Whether you’re brand new to butt stuff or an anal expert, banging on the backdoor is a Valentine’s adventure you can enjoy without leaving your house. Though, of course, you should still prepare, so go ahead and help yourself to these anal foreplay tips, and our recs for the very best lubes and vibes for backdoor play. No need to thank us, we’re just doing Cupid the Anal Angel’s work to ensure you have the most ass-tastic Valentine’s Day ever.
Dim lights. Hips moving against one another with the forced restraint of clothing. Sweaty bodies. You aren't just dancing if you spend Valentine's Day clubbing. It's basically high-octane public foreplay. How far can you get on the dance floor?
Experiment With edging
Edging is the act of bringing someone (in this case, you, your partner, or both) close to orgasm and then stopping, only to restart the stimulation until you’re close, then stopping again. Rinse, repeat, until someone comes their face off when daddy says it’s okay. What’s Valentine’s without a little orgasmic torture?
Strip for your partner
In case your Valentine hasn’t told you, you are just as sexy as any pin-up model, so why not invoke your inner Dita Von Teese and treat them to a private strip show? Tease and torture your partner by slowing undressing, letting them savour your body like a chocolate wrapped in gold.
Write a dirty love letter
Sure, you could buy a Hallmark card from the drugstore, or you could give your foreplay a literary twist by penning your date a love letter; the dirtier, the better. Everyone likes to be reminded of how loved and desired they are, and there’s no way to get that message across quite like putting it in ink. People also tend to hold onto love letters, elevating this tribute from a mere gift to a timeless keepsake.
Drape yourself in diamonds
And by diamonds, we mean costume jewelry you can order on Amazon for a few quid. It doesn’t have to be the real thing (more power to you if it is!), but how sexy does it sound to wear nothing but rocks as you get ready to knock your partner’s socks off? You can even start off by wearing a bejeweled thong and bra to match the theme of the evening.
Transform your apartment
You don’t have to spend money on a hotel or a trip if it’s not in the budget this year. Grab a few red light bulbs and light a handful of candles to totally transform your space into the sex lounge of your dreams. The total transformation will only cost you around £20 and you’ll never forget getting intimate in your own little love cave.
Have a night of firsts
Whether that means trying a restaurant you’ve never tried, trying a new sex move, or indulging in a fetish you’ve never played with before, take a minute to brainstorm with your partner and see how you can make Valentine’s Day fresh AF. Bonus points if you actually end up loving something you try. If you want to be sneaky about it, start asking your partner a general question like, “What’s something you’ve been dying to do but haven’t had the time for?” Their answer might surprise you.
Pack on the PDA
Have you ever wanted to kiss on top of the Empire State Building? What about in the frozen food aisle at your local grocery store? A little smooching never hurt anybody, and it can be intoxicating to pucker up at the most unexpected places. Draw up a little make out map beforehand and check off each spot one by one before you go home and indulge in the grand finale.
Have a massage sesh
It doesn’t matter how cheesy or cliché it seems, having an erotic massage session is like Setting the Mood 101. Sure, you could book a bougie couples massage somewhere, but you can also get that relaxed, blissed-out feeling at home, which is great because then you can quickly transition from deep tissue to deep penetration. Grab some massage oils and watch an instructional video before pampering your person with a rubdown.
Use a sex toy together
While sex toys are obviously great for some solo time, they’re just as good for couples activities as well. Since only about 18 percent of cis women reach orgasm during penetrative sex alone, using a toy that adds some extra clitoral stimulation is essential. Here are some couples toys options that will help you *and* your partner have an extra-special V-Day orgasm.
Watch some ~sexy~ TV
If you’re more of a low-key couple who prefers nights on the couch over nights at the club (respect), why not lean into your usual hobbies by making them sexier? There are lots of sexy shows and movies out there that get the vibes flowing. Watch something erotic like Bridgerton or even American Horror Story, and if the mood strikes, consider recreating your favorite scene. If not, simply going at it on the couch while Regé-Jean Page licks a spoon in the background isn’t the worst way to spend V-Day.
Try some light BDSM
You don’t have to go all Fifty Shades here, but if both you and your partner are interested in exploring dominance or submission, there’s no better time than on V-Day. After chatting (and getting consent, ofc), grab a pair of handcuffs or a blindfold and play around with some BDSM power dynamics. Just make sure to use a safe word and take things slow, communicating and checking in as you go.
Play a sexy game
This is a great one if your partner is competitive. There are loads of sexy games on the market. Find a card game where each card either asks you a question or gives you a dare and you have to answer.
Watch ethical porn together
If you’ve never paid for porn before, now’s the time. Find an ethical porn site with content geared toward the female gaze—aka porn where the woman actually looks like she’s having a good time and it’s believable. Watch it with your partner, ~touch each other~, and see what happens.
Or *read* porn together
There are other ways to enjoy porn if watching it isn’t your thing. Grab a BDSM book or read an erotic story aloud, concentrating on the juicy bits. If you’re not one for reading around, explore audio porn instead. There’s tons of content out there to choose from depending on your preferences, so spend some time exploring before sharing what you each like. You know, like show-and-tell, but make it sexy.
Have sex somewhere you’ve never done it before
Get out of bed. Seriously! If you have an empty house/apartment/dorm room, take your shenanigans to the bathroom, the sofa, the kitchen table, the washing machine (turn it on, trust me). Maybe even open the blinds, if you’re into a little bit of voyeurism.
Have some LDR sex
If you and your person can’t physically be together this Valentine’s Day, no worries. Sex-toy brands like We-Vibe and Satisfyer have apps that pair with their vibrators and sex toys. When you download it to your phone, you can control the pressure, speed pulses, etc. of the vibrator or sex toy all from within the app itself.
This is especially perfect if you want to sex up this V-Day because with consent from you, it also lets your partner control your toy from their phone. This means that no matter where in the world you are, your partner can join you during your masturbation session. Très hot.
Play With Temperature
This is your sign to bring some heat (or chill) to the bedroom. Temperature play is what happens when you use hot and cold sensations to add a lil spice to the bedroom. (Think ice cubes, hot water, candles, etc.) You can also buy a warming vibrator. (Yep! Those exist.)
Go on a last-minute trip
One way to really up the sexiness of the holiday is to spend it someplace else. If you have a few vacation days (or sick days, we won’t tell your boss) just begging to be used, plan a spontaneous getaway. Oftentimes you can snag deals on last-minute hotel rooms, flights, and cruises, especially if you’re not picky about the destination. Once there, drop your bags and take the mattress for a test drive or two before exploring the sights of a new city.
Or invest in a low-stress staycation environment
Home is nice and all, but it’s also likely where a lot of your stress lies. There’s laundry to put away, surfaces that need dusting, and if you have kids, there’s always the threat of them popping in at any second to disrupt you. “Stress is a libido killer, for sure,” says sex educator Cassandra Corrado.
That’s why she suggests booking a hotel room to take some pressure off yourself to clean and get everything ready for the perfect night. It doesn’t even have to be far! Book one right down the road, then hire a sitter or drop off the kiddos at their grandparents’ house for a distraction-free night of romance.
Write out your fantasies
As hot as it might be to have your partner whisper their fantasies to you, the truth is that saying those fantasies out loud on the spot can be nerve-racking. “Putting pen to paper could help you unlock your sexual confidence,” Corrado says. She suggests setting time a week or so in advance to write the letters and then swap with each other on Valentine’s Day. To make things even more fun, read the stories aloud. Voices, costumes, and props are all *highly* encouraged.
Hire a private chef
Okay, v exciting news here: Hiring a private chef can often be cheaper than going out. Yes, it’s true, and yes, that means you can have some fancy-schmancy cook whip up a gourmet meal while you chill on the couch. Plus, you’ve got the added benefit of being able to share a bottle(s) of wine without needing a designated driver to get back home, says sex coach Myi Baker, founder of Lady Luxxxe.
“The privacy allows for more intimacy and makes for a much more romantic evening,” she adds. Just keep in mind, you’ll likely have to go over the menu in advance, so just like booking Valentine’s dinner on a night out, you’ll need to plan a bit beforehand.
Take a virtual couples tantra class together
It doesn’t have to be tantra—any workshop or class will do—but tantra is especially fitting for hot V-Day sex, as you and your partner will reap the rewards long after the class is over.
“These classes are focused on teaching the proper techniques for touch, intimacy, and massage in a fun and sexy way,” says Baker. Expect to learn new moves, go through bonding exercises, and learn new sensual touching techniques to turn up the heat year-round.
Spice up your sex with some role-play
Plan on meeting at a bar (or a “bar” in your kitchen, if you’re staying in). Then introduce yourself to your significant other when they *happen* to sit right next to you. From there, you two can play out a situation with completely different occupations and names. The possibilities are endless! Take it to the bedroom and end your role-play fantasy with a bang.
Make a Spotify playlist
Include all your favorite sexy songs in one playlist specifically for Valentine’s Day. Pick your fave bops with different beats and tempos so you can enjoy alllll kinds of rides along your many sex sessions.
Incorporate your fave foods
Who said dessert has to be served at the dinner table? Bring the ice cream, whipped cream, or fave sweet treat into the bedroom. Serve it on you and your partner, and voilà—the best-tasting dessert you could ask for.
Have sex before dinner
Think about it: You have a delicious glass of wine…and another…and another. Then dinner, then dessert, and all of a sudden, it’s midnight and you have work the next day. Full, buzzed, and exhausted aren’t always the best circumstances for boning. So get it on before you leave for your date instead, and spend the rest of the meal basking in a sexy afterglow. And, you know, more wine.
Or better yet, get it on the next morning
You shouldn’t go into a holiday that’s supposed to be fun all worked up over expectations of sex. If it doesn’t happen naturally, that’s okay! Enter: morning sex. There’s nothing quite like rolling over in a warm, groggy haze and whispering all the things you wish you had done last night into your partner’s ear. (You can be a little late to work.)
Get each other chocolate
Because what’s better than one box of chocolate? Two! It’s cheap, affordable, and hella erotic when you’re dropping the pieces into each other’s mouths.
Buy each other one new sexy item for the bedroom
A massage oil candle or a new vibrator, perhaps? If your hope is to shake up your lurvemaking routine, commit to bringing one new thing to the bedroom, whether that’s a toy or a sexy new see-through teddy.
Do something fun rather than sexy
Some people are all about the candlelit meal with the soft violin music, and if that’s you, go for it! But if all the extra bells and whistles aren’t really your style, it’s easy to feel like you’re forcing the ~romance~, which can leave you feeling anything but sexy.
Instead, try an activity that focuses on togetherness and fun. Go to a show, order some takeout, or watch your fave Netflix series. An event that leaves you feeling connected might be more likely to inspire sexy times than a four-course dinner would.
Spend the day sexting
Nothing builds up anticipation like sexting. If you shoot off quick, sexy missives of what you want to do to each other throughout the day, then come nighttime, you’ll have a hot script of your own to act out. The buildup is unbearable in the best possible way.
Get them a gift card that’s really for you
If you really want to go all in on the “this is the sex holiday” vibe, set a budget, buy a gift card to a lingerie store of your choosing, and write down your sizes with a note that says, “You pick.” They get to see you in lingerie and you get to keep said lingerie.
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