Dating: TikTok advice that's actually helpful

A couple next to the roadside while looking into each other's eyes. (Photo: Getty Images)
Can you actually get legitimate dating advice on TikTok? (Photo: Getty Images)

These days, it feels like most millennials and gen-zers aren’t turning to their friends (or their therapists) for dating or relationship advice anymore.

Instead, they’re looking at their For You Page on TikTok.

At the time of writing, the hashtag #DatingTok has over 170 million views, while hashtags relating to dating and dating advice have gotten over 200 million views.

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Despite how it started out as a social media platform for sharing short videos, TikTok has found its niche as being the place people visit to share life hacks, tips, and best purchases.

While the legitimacy of such advice on TikTok can be questionable, it doesn’t stop people from considering it or implementing it into their lives.

#DatingTok though often has legitimate dating and relationship experts like psychologists and dating coaches who actually provide great advice.

Plus, some of these experts willingly respond to comments and requests for relationship advice, making it so much easier for people to interact with them and get the advice they need.

A lot of the time, though, the advice we’ve heard on TikTok has actually been… pretty legit.

Here are some we love:

#1: Setting standards while dating

Janel Vitale is a certified sex and relationship coach. In her videos, she consistently explores different aspects of a relationship—from dating to marriage—and discusses difficult situations like cheating and sexual issues.

In one of her videos, she discusses three types of standards that she sets for herself when deciding if she should continue dating someone or not. Through this exercise, Janel is basically reminding us of the importance of communication and communicating our needs to others. It’s also really important to set standards because it reminds

A couple eating ice cream at a cafe, with a brown wooden table and a green wall. (Photo: Getty Images)
Don't get ahead of yourself when dating, TikTok reminds us. (Photo: Getty Images)

#2: Don’t get ahead of yourself

When you first start dating someone, it’s easy to get ahead of yourself and think of all the ways this person could be integrated into your life.

While single and dating, I made this mistake myself thinking that some guys were relationship material when in reality, they really weren’t.

I’d start picturing how they’d be like with my friends, and whether they’d make great partners just based on small actions.

Brooklyn-based dating coach Ali Jackson thinks that channelling all your energy into thinking about someone that way and projecting your emotions like that could end up hurting you more than necessary.

A couple kissing in front of a brightly lit merry-go-round. (Photo: Getty Images)
Insecurity can affect any couple, and happens more often than we think. (Photo: Getty Images)

#3: Never compare your relationship

Regardless of how strong and stable your relationship is, there always comes a time when insecurity pops up.

This happens a lot more often than we think, and can affect even relationship coaches, like Kirstie Taylor.

In her video, Kirstie recounts how she compared her relationship to her friend’s after seeing how they interacted with their partners.

A couple having wine at a dimly lit restaurant. (Photo: Getty Images)
Be careful when comparing yourself with others. (Photo: Getty Images)

#4: If it’s costing your mental health, it’s too much

Dating coach Beka Smith puts things into perspective for us in her video that’s less than a minute long.

For a lot us, we tend to think that the marker of a toxic relationship is when something obvious, like physical abuse, happens.

However, toxic relationships aren’t always visible from the outside.

The touching hands of a couple on a sofa. (Photo: Getty Images)

#5: If they wanted to, they would

Probably the most talked about and controversial advice on TikTok, this old adage might actually hold some weight.

The essence of this advice is that if a guy (or girl) is truly interested in you, nothing can stop them from demonstrating this in various ways or putting in the effort to do things for you.

Ideally, people shouldn’t have to overthink about someone else’s feelings for them and if they did, it’s likely that the person they’re sweet on isn’t as keen about them.

There are plenty of videos on TikTok that discuss this concept and depending on what you believe in, this one can be difficult to accept this notion.

What’s an advice you’ve heard on TikTok that’s so applicable to you?

A Millennial's Dating Diary series explores real-life interactions and the hurdles of dating in Southeast Asia. The series features the dating stories and misadventures of Arika – a 26-year-old, straight female marketing manager with a penchant for over drinking — and fellow millennials.

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