Happy Birthday, Chris Pratt! See 38 of His Most Hilarious Instagram Captions

And #happymothersday to my own mom Kathy. She's so funny and hard working, with such a positive attitude and a dreamers heart. She has such love to give to all her kids. Obviously me the most. But you know, I'm Starlord. It's whatever. Love you Mom!

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on May 14, 2017 at 10:45am PDT

Nailed it

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on May 11, 2017 at 7:22am PDT

Next time... Put the deodorant under the man boobs. Getting all heated up and passionate about #gotgvol2 #WHATSMYSNACK

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Apr 20, 2017 at 10:09pm PDT

My favorite outfit so far. #gotgvol2 #tokyo

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Apr 10, 2017 at 2:21am PDT

#WHATSMYSNACK today I got cucumber and egg wrap. It's basically exactly like a sandwich but instead of bread you use thinly sliced cucumbers and instead of meat you use sprouts and chopped up eggs and instead of flavor you get nutrition. ???? Like I always said, eating is no longer the fun part, flexing my butt cheeks in the mirror is. Cause no dimples. No rolls. Just cut ass butt cheeks. LIVE WITH IT!!! #jurassicworld2

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Mar 29, 2017 at 7:11am PDT

#JurassicWorld2 #WHATSMYSNACK watch me eat cat food like a good little boy

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Mar 16, 2017 at 6:11am PDT

Here is Anna on Mother's Day with our twin sons Jack and T-Rex. Even now it's hard to tell them apart some times.

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on May 8, 2016 at 6:54pm PDT

My big brother Cully puts me in a sleeper hold every time we see each other. Sometimes I tap. Sometimes I sleep. Those are pretty much the two options. Tap or sleep. I would elect to always tap if I could but sometimes I fall asleep too quickly. I can't get my arm up to tap in time. He's really good at the sleeper hold. He's basically the ambien of hand to hand combat with that old sleeper hold. People in UFC call it a rear naked choke but I don't use that terminology since it's my brother and the rear naked part sounds gross when dealing with a sibling. Nonetheless I will come away from this loss stronger and better than before.

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Mar 6, 2016 at 11:08pm PST

Here I am vacuum packing some deer meat in the kitchen. I grew up in the woods. Not literally. I mean, we had a house. I wasn't raised by coyotes. But I spent a lot of time in the woods. Hunting, fishing and being outdoors with my friends and family is how I spent my free time as a young'n. That part of me will never change. I mean. I'm assuming. I don't know. Maybe it will. It hasn't yet. Maybe one day I'll wake up and be like, "I'm only gonna eat veggies for the rest of my life." If I do that's cool. It's a free country. Anyways. I just filled the freezer with a bunch of tasty meat from an awesome deer hunt in the great state of Texas. Oh! I should tell you: I'm going to start a diet I called "The Game Plan" where basically I only eat wild game for a year. "The Game Plan," get it? Cause GAME? I mean I'll also eat veggies and fruit and other stuff too. But for one year I want to eat only the meats that were caught or killed by me or my friends. Total free range organic wild game! The game plan. Join me. I mean I'm gonna still eat eggs and probably chicken and probably steak I mean I gotta have steak and oysters and definitely bacon. But other than that. And the occasional burger for a cheat meal. But other than that only wild game. The game plan. I should mention I will also have sushi because I have to have sushi because it's so good. And pepperoni. But that's not a meat technically, right? But other than that all wild game. And pepperchinis! (That's not how you spell that) Exclusively wild game. It will be tough. But it's worth the sacrifice. I will be eating turkey for thanksgiving. Probably fried. That's the best. And also ham. For Easter we make lamb. That's great. Ill have to have lamb that day. So... "The Game Plan" Who's with me!?

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Jan 13, 2016 at 4:01pm PST

My transition into a full scrotum is nearly complete.

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Nov 23, 2015 at 12:59pm PST

Before selfies, this was what 13 looked like. #Being13 looks like this now: cnn.com/being13 So proud of my brother in law, friend and hunting partner Bob Faris for his involvement in this great project. Check it out!!

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Oct 5, 2015 at 5:19am PDT

#JurassicWorld #JurassicWorldGlobalPressTour you had better get this right!!!!

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Jun 9, 2015 at 7:10pm PDT

Getting pumped to tape the spike guys choice awards.#JurassicWorld gotta get my good stank on. #Valentino

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Jun 6, 2015 at 9:04pm PDT

Love how the sink is conveniently placed in front of the toilet so you can wash your face and hands while crapping. You thought of everything France! #JurassicWorldGlobalPressTour #JurassicWorld

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on May 29, 2015 at 5:13am PDT

Beautiful still life of fruit basket and toe. Paris, France. -2015 #JurassicWorldGlobalPressTour #JurassicWorld

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on May 28, 2015 at 11:59pm PDT

Official still shot from first day of production on the Jurassic World sequel: Jurassic World 2: Jurassic UK #JurassicWorldGlobalPressTour #JurassicWorld #JW2UK

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on May 28, 2015 at 11:10pm PDT

Tell me this mutha fucka don't look like Kevin Spacey. #JurassicWorldGlobalPressTour #JurassicWorld #HouseOfCards #HouseOfLords

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on May 28, 2015 at 4:37pm PDT

Me and some dudes I met in China. Really nice, patient guys. Good listeners. I blabbed and blabbed about the upcoming Jurassic World movie and they didn't interrupt me once. #JurassicWorldGlobalPressTour

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on May 28, 2015 at 2:56am PDT

Just bein' natural In Hyde Park London. Super candid shot. Not posing at all. So. Go UK! #HydeAndCheek #JurassicWorldGlobalPressTour #JurassicWorld #cheersMate

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on May 28, 2015 at 12:08am PDT

This is a stoic Chinese man I met who never even told me his name. We had a forty minute staring contest which he won. #JurassicWorldGlobalPressTour #China #PekingDuck

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on May 27, 2015 at 12:10pm PDT

I ?? BJ I do. I mean I really do. And I for one am not afraid to admit it. I love Beijing. OK?! There. I said it. I ??BJ I feel so much better. #Beijing #China #tentemplesquare #JurassicWorldGlobalPressTour!!! #NextStopUK here we go!

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on May 27, 2015 at 12:00pm PDT

I love oaks. Never been a tree hugger. Don't care for that term. I will hug the hell outta this damn oak. I love oaks. #WannaSqueezeIt #SqueezeTheLifeOutOfIt #strong #oaks #trees #hard #iHashtaggedHARD #classic #Words #GodBlessAmerica #NotOnMyWatch #seriously,oaks #theyreJustMagnificent

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on May 12, 2015 at 10:05pm PDT

If you've ever read the poem "Footprints," which is about a guy who walks with Jesus down the beach and at one point there's only one set of footprints because Jesus flies off or pulls a trick of some kind I can't remember anyways I wrote that poem and it's actually about my wife and how when there was no footprints it's cause we took off in a helicopter. So I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. If you purchased a copy of "Footprints," and have it on your wall you owe me fifty thousand dollars PLUS INTEREST. And if you ever felt like you were alone just remember that Jesus could walk on water so technically he probably wouldn't have left footprints to begin with. BUT JESUS DOES LOVE YOU. That is for sure. And so does my wife.

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Apr 17, 2015 at 10:58pm PDT

These seashells are for sale. I discovered them on a remote green sand beach accessible only by aircraft. By aircraft I of course mean helicopter or jet pack or I guess by boat too. But not car. Unless the car can fly or swim. The seashells are going for $12Million. They must remain at the beach. YOU'RE BASICALLY BUYING VISITATION RIGHTS. I legally need to be very clear about that. The shells are not to be touched. You owe my fifty thousand dollars just for looking at this picture.

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Apr 17, 2015 at 10:48pm PDT

Here's another angle of my waterfall. I'll probably name it something like Freedom Falls or JurassicWorldStarChrisPrattFalls or Humble Warrior Falls or something bad ass like that. You owe me one hundred thousand dollars because you can see both of my waterfalls. One belongs to my son. It's called Jack Pratt Airborne Stream LLC. Officially. You have to pay taxes for seeing it. His is the same price as mine you don't get a discount just because he's just a boy. #SorryNotSorry you can just send money or a credit card number to me at "Humble Tiger Waterfall"

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Apr 17, 2015 at 8:56pm PDT

I claimed this waterfall today. So now it's mine. You owe me fifty thousand dollars just for lookin' at it. Read the fine print bro. #AllImagesAreCopywrittenAndYouOweMeFidtyThousandDollars

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Apr 17, 2015 at 8:48pm PDT

Tell me this Flamingo doesn't look mean as fuck. Dude. I always thought flamingos were just sweet pink birds that were fancy and polite. I don't know why. But look at his face. It's like an alligator face. Mean ass flamingo. #DontFWithFlamingos #FlamingosBeScary #Flamingo

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Apr 12, 2015 at 6:41pm PDT

#HungerGames #HungerGames4 #TheLegendOfCurliesBow #NotARealMovie #Yet #TheRut #Outsiders #PlayOutside #Carnage #CarnalKnowledge #ThatsNotWhatThatMeans? #Grateful #GodBlessAmerica #GodBlessTheRut #ICaughtASnakeYesterdayToo #Booya #Wallhanger

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Oct 30, 2014 at 12:28pm PDT

I had shaved for SNL and now I'm back to playing Andy on Parks and Rec so I must have my beard glued on every day. Pretty amazing. And real human hair! Which I'm reminded of every time I take a bite of food. #TastesLikeRealHair #WhosHairAmIEating? #Seriously #Gross #Showbiz #ManBeard #GodBlessAmerica #GodBlessMyFakeAndyBeard #RandomHairStuckToMyLips #Badass

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Oct 2, 2014 at 10:48am PDT

Victory. Press tour complete. Headed home. What a moment. #LivinTheDream #LivinLaVidaLoca #RickyMartin #SheBangs #OhBabyHowSheMoves #SideTrack #FastTrack #TrackAndField #FieldAndStream #StreamOfThought

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Jul 30, 2014 at 6:48pm PDT

Backstage @Letterman I'm wearing this creepy mask because it will make me look more radiant? #Baller #guardiansofthegalaxy

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Jul 29, 2014 at 1:43pm PDT

I am the meat in this glorious man sandwich. #DaveBautista is the bun and @jamesgunn is the pickle (For reasons I'm not comfortable explaining here) #GOTG #AKA #GUARDIANSOfTheGalaxy #ThreeMenAndaLittleMovie #dreamer #USA #weapons #drax #beautiful #ManHug #Embrace #MachoCuddle #DudeSqueeze #BroHug #bearhug #deathClutch #Wrestle

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Jul 26, 2014 at 3:37am PDT

Between you and me there was nothing wrong with my tie. Totally posing. I've seen people do that and I'm copying them. #Zoolander #BlueSteel #LaTigra #Magnum #GuardiansOfTheGalaxy

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Jul 24, 2014 at 3:25pm PDT

Blue carpet at UK premiere of Guardians of The Galaxy. Three piece suit. One the pants. Two the jacket. Three my face mugging like I'm on Americas Next Top model. #YouWannaBeOnTop? #Tyra #booya #LivingTheDream #SpaceDream #SpaceDreamerz #Galaxy #Guarded #SeeItInImax #WeekFromFriday

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Jul 24, 2014 at 3:14pm PDT

I have found my niche. Hair stylist to the stars. I work for free. #BonjourFreedomBraid #lePlat #braidYOgirlsHairDAWG #man #manbraid #baller #vidalSassoon

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Apr 26, 2014 at 12:29am PDT

This is a weird thing to brag about but I did that glorious french braid. #Baller #man #ManBraid #RealMenBraid #isItBrade? #SpellingQuestion #StillBallerTho #WhyIsItFrench??? #ICallItAFreedomBraid #GoUsa

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Apr 21, 2014 at 9:18am PDT

Wanted to help this poor bull out. If you look closely you see he's covered in brambles. Anyways. He charged me and I almost got trampled. Went home and ate a steak.

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Sep 14, 2013 at 7:03am PDT

Six months no beer. #GOTG Kinda douchey to post this but my brother made me.

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Jul 6, 2013 at 11:06pm PDT