The most cursed images of Toad, for no real reason at all
Twitter is overrun with truly cursed images of Toad, thanks to Stormy Daniels.
Daniels went into horrific detail about sex with the president in a salacious excerpt of her new book, Full Disclosure. In an anecdote that ruined our favorite Mushroom Kingdom citizen forever, Daniels described Trump's penis as "unusual," comparing the "smaller than average" but not "freakishly small" First Dick to a "huge mushroom head."
SEE ALSO: Stormy Daniel's description of Trump's penis ruins Mario games forever
Likening Trump's penis to a "toadstool," she writes, “I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart..."
First of all, let's not disrespect Toad like that. He's in so much more than just Mario Kart!
This is Toad, by the way, depicting exactly how we all felt after reading that excerpt.
Soon after Daniels' story was released, Twitter users jumped into action to find and create the most depraved images of what Trump's penis could look like.
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. pic.twitter.com/xtJtAig9Gy— darth™ (@darth) September 18, 2018
Some of them are, uh, unconventional but otherwise relatively innocent, like this image of Toad protecting two Yoshi eggs while wearing a water-blasting tool.
Oh we are sharing our favorite Toad images today?
Mine is this one: Toad guarding two Yoshi eggs while wearing F.L.U.D.D. on his back pic.twitter.com/2p0jLHBdhF— Nibel (@Nibellion) September 18, 2018
This could be an unfortunate Tinder bio.
Bowser in the streets, Toad in the sheets :(
— Robbie Collin (@robbiereviews) September 18, 2018
There's also this tongue-in-cheek (sorry, Toad-in-Yeti) depiction of what intercourse with Trump could look like.
Good Morning America! #MarioCart #Yeti #Toad pic.twitter.com/9JFeFNOoq9
— McNeil (@Reflog_18) September 18, 2018
I mean, she didn't specify which mushroom character the presidential genitals looked like.
Check the quote... Stormy didn't say Toad, she said "the mushroom character in Mario Kart". Could be Toadette (note ball-like elements) pic.twitter.com/gURHVKX66j
— Nick Wiger (@nickwiger) September 18, 2018
Someone came up with this terrible couple's costume.
Another cool couples costume idea for this Halloween 😱#MarioKart pic.twitter.com/4GWovikyYA
— Sly (@SlyFoxHound) September 18, 2018
BREAKING: Nintendo will face U.S. tariffs unless it makes Toad "bigger and veinier," according to POTUS.
— Jeffrey Grubb (@JeffGrubb) September 18, 2018
We can't forget the "Toad without his hat" controversy — at least she didn't compare it to that.
(Let it be known, though, that Toad's mushroom cap is actually part of his head.)
I need stormy daniels to weigh in on the toad mushroom hat controversy pic.twitter.com/nSAUjT7ac9
— Dylan (@dylmdav) September 18, 2018
Stormy Daniels says Donald Trump has "a dick like the mushroom character from Mario Kart." https://t.co/e14QYlmCtb pic.twitter.com/95aE63OWie
— Kotaku (@Kotaku) September 18, 2018
These comparisons are getting kind of gross.
My before and after views of Toad thanks to Stormy Daniels' @realDonaldTrump "Mario Kart" statement pic.twitter.com/x071I58EqV
— Charmandachu (@Charmandachu) September 18, 2018
I don't even know what to do with this.
#TrulyScaryBedtimeStories
Story about yeti pubs with Mario Kart pic.twitter.com/qNKHotMI5G— Rose (@Clouds_of_roses) September 18, 2018
There were also these awful Photoshops based on the lurid details Daniels included in the piece.
Yep. Trump, Mario Kart, Toad, Yeti, Stormy Daniels. pic.twitter.com/2zhEOWqQs1
— Brian Gass (@gassmeister) September 18, 2018
Let’s just check and see why Mario Kart is trending today….oh pic.twitter.com/FrU3Z9HeP4
— Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) September 18, 2018
Last, but not least, somebody unearthed this depraved picture of our beloved Toad. Pack it up, folks. We can all go home now. It doesn't get any more fucked up than this.
Twitter today as everyone sees Mario Kart trending but hasn't seen why pic.twitter.com/pWgDkgAxQ2
— Josh Jordan (@NumbersMuncher) September 18, 2018
Let's just take a moment to appreciate the abounding creativity Twitter has to offer, and then collectively bleach our eyeballs.