Lady Gaga Says She 'Used to Wake Up Every Day' and Feel 'Depressed' Before Making New Album
DJENEBA ADUAYOM Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga is opening up about overcoming a dark time in her life.
In the cover story for the September issue of Billboard, the pop star, 34, opened up about how working on her latest album Chromatica, which was released in May, helped her get back to a good place.
"I used to wake up every day and remember I was Lady Gaga — and then I would get depressed," she said, describing her frame of mind following the conclusion of her Joanne world tour in 2018, which ended early due to her struggles with fibromyalgia.
"I was peeling all the layers of the onion in therapy," she added. "So as you dig deeper, you get closer to the core, and the core of the onion stinks."
The Grammy winner went on to share that when friends attempted to help her, she would often pull "the Lady Gaga card."
"It's the one where you go, 'I'm Lady Gaga, you don't understand what it feels like, I want to dress how I want and be who I am without people noticing, why does everybody have to notice, I'm so sad, I don't even know why anymore, why are you making me talk about it?'" she told Billboard, noting that thanks to her work in therapy, this defense is something she's since given up using.
DJENEBA ADUAYOM Lady Gaga
DJENEBA ADUAYOM Lady Gaga
DJENEBA ADUAYOM Lady Gaga
RELATED: Lady Gaga Fell into a 'Dark Place' Before Making Her Latest Album: 'I Didn't Want to Be Myself'
Even though working on Chromatica was not always easy, through the songwriting process, Gaga began to bring herself back.
"We were like, 'Feeling creative always makes her happy, so let's put some studio time on the calendar,'" her manager Bobby Campbell said.
"If there's one glimmer inside you, celebrate it," Gaga added. "When you find another one, celebrate it. One more? Call a friend: 'I did this today. I’m winning.'"
DJENEBA ADUAYOM Lady Gaga
DJENEBA ADUAYOM Lady Gaga
Gaga is also looking ahead to when she'll get a chance to share her new music with fans in person.
Although her Chromatica Ball stadium tour has been postponed until next year due to the coronavirus pandemic, Gaga is excited to "build a show that's tailor-made with kindness" — even though she hasn't started making preparations just yet.
"I'm going to learn so much from now until the day somebody tells me you can effectively social distance at a stadium," she told Billboard.
"When that day comes, I'm going to build a show that's tailor-made with kindness. I've been through enough to tell you that even though we can’t go onstage now, I know we will," she added. It's painful, and it's hard and scary, but I promise we won't be six feet apart forever."
