Police officers searching a suspected car thief found a flick knife hidden inside his “under crackers”, the Metropolitan Police force said in a bizarre social media post.
The man had allegedly fled through muddy fields after crashing a suspected stolen car on Saturday night.
During a search back at a west London station an 8cm blade was allegedly found “wedged” between the suspect’s “gluteal muscles”.
Kingston Police wrote a tongue-in-cheek statement on Facebook describing the incidents faced by the two officers on patrol.
A statement posted on the official Kingston Police Facebook page said: “It was a dark and stormy night when PCs Watkins and Childs got behind a vehicle that really didn’t want the bother of having a chat with us. It was off on its wheels and crashed shortly afterwards with the driver bolting off.
“The dark and stormy rain had made the suspect’s escape route a bit sludgy, but our team wasn’t going to let that mire the outcome. (We’re proud of the double meaning of mire there).
“As the muddy and protracted foot chase was brought to an end, and the crashed car was searched, officers found a stashed machete. The vehicle was also on false plates having been nicked in August.”
The force added: “Driver arrested for literally everything, but because we’re caring, we took him to hospital for a check-up. Luckily, no injury was found but we did locate a flick knife in his under crackers wedged between his gluteal muscles.”
The page was inundated with responses praising the author for an informative and entertaining account of events.
The author replied to one fan: “Thanks. Your taxes paid for it, so I thought I should put a bit of effort in.”
Told that the social media made police work fun, they replied: “It is at times. And that time is called “the end of shift”.
“But seriously, it’s so rewarding. I love helping people and it’s great when we get results.
“It’s a hard job though. A police officers everyday is your worst day. Picture that. We generally meet people when something horrible has happened, and if we can help them, that’s what makes it all worthwhile.”
It came as four police officers were injured and 29 people were arrested after thousands of pro-Palestinian protesters gathered in London’s Trafalgar Square demanding a ceasefire in the Israel-Hamas war.
Demonstrators climbed on top of the square’s famous fountains as the mostly peaceful group waved flags and banners on Saturday afternoon.
But the force said some demonstrators had launched fireworks into crowds and towards police, leaving four officers injured.