Prince Harry ‘smothers’ his kids with love so they won’t be scarred with ‘traumas’
Prince Harry says he “smothers” his two children with love so they won’t be doomed to experience his “traumas”.
The Duke of Sussex, 38, said he was showering his son Archie, three, and 20-month-old daughter Lilibet with love in a chat with trauma expert Dr Gabor Maté, 79, online on Saturday (04.03.23) in a discussion that took in his mental health and drug use.
He made the admission about the kids he shares with his wife Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, 41, when Dr Maté referred to a passage in the royal’s memoir ‘Spare’, released in January, in which Harry discussed being told about his mum Princess Diana’s Paris car crash death in 1997 by his dad, the then-Prince Charles, when Harry was aged 12.
The doctor said: “When I read that passage in the book, where you find out about your mother’s death... you’re alone in your room.
“And your father comes in to tell you the news. He touches you on the knee, I think in an encouraging fashion, and says, ‘It’s going to be okay’, and walks out, and you’re left on your own.
“And what struck me in that passage, as in so many other passages in the book, is the lack of touching, the lack of a child being held. How at some point, you wanted to hug your grandmother, and you held yourself back because it wasn’t done.”
Dr Maté went on to describe the lack of touching among the royals as “multi-generational”, adding: :So what is it about the lack of holding and touching and cuddling in his family – and it’s obviously multi-generational – and how do you think that affects a young child now that you are a father yourself?”
Harry started his response by joking: “Well you're the professional, you can tell me.”
But he added: “It leaves me in position now, as a father to two kids of my own, making sure that I smother them with love and affection.
“Not smother them to the point where they're trying to get away... but in the sense that...as a father, (I) feel a huge responsibility to ensure that I don’t pass on any traumas...or any negative experiences that I had as a kid or as a man growing up.
“And that’s putting in the work, and that’s daily being conscious of my behaviour and my reactions to both of my kids.”
Harry also said he feels “slightly different” to the rest of his family, adding: “I felt strange being in this container, and I know that my mum felt the same so it makes sense to me.”
He added: “We only know what we know, and for myself and my wife we do the best we can as parents – learning from our own past and overlapping those mistakes, perhaps, and growing... to break that cycle… people have said that my wife saved me, I was stuck in this world and she was from a different world and helped draw me out of that.
“But none of the elements of my life would have been possible without me seeing it for myself. My partner is an exceptional human being and I am grateful of the space that she’s given to me.”