The Psychology Behind Why You Should Put On A Party Hat When Arguing With Your Partner

Have you ever found yourself arguing with your partner and then realising you’re both perhaps taking this whole thing a little too seriously? Yes, me too. It’s often the case that arguments that go on for extended periods are, well, a little bit silly really.

One TikToker, @AnnieLace73 has found the perfect way to balance out the silly and the serious of arguments with her partner by bringing party hats into the mix. In a post that received a staggering three million likes, she said: “We have to wear party hats if our arguments get too heated & it makes it really hard to stay mad.”

Incredibly, not only does this work for the couple but a couple’s counsellor also recommends it to other couples.

Why wearing party hats can help couples during an argument

Brooke Owens, a couple’s counsellor said this is similar to having a silly safeword during an argument that brings it briefly to a halt.

She said that during a fight between a couple, these things tend to happen:

  • You forget that you’re on the same team and you’re not enemies

  • You can start saying and doing things in an emotionally reactive issue that are only going to heighten the flames of the original issue and probably even veer you off-topic from the original issue

  • Your cortisol levels are going to rise rapidly, especially if the fight is about a sensitive or emotional issue

Owens said: “All of these things are a recipe for catastrophe and something as silly as putting on a party hat requires you to take a break to be like ‘hold on, the fight’s getting too intense, grab our tool’.”

She added that it gives your nervous system a chance to reset for a second and the absurdity offsets the tense emotions, “have you ever tried to insult someone in a party hat?”

Finally, Owens said that the humour wearing the hats will inevitably bring into the room will calm your nervous system, lighten the mood and make both of you feel safer.