Tiffany Haddish Never Got to Grieve Her Grandmother While Filming“ Haunted Mansion”: ‘I Lost My First Best Friend’ (Exclusive)

The comedian, actress and author opens up about the tough time she's had grieving her grandmother's death over the past few years

Nothing could have prepared Tiffany Haddish for the heartache she suffered just a couple years ago.

"When my grandma died, I had no time to grieve," she tells PEOPLE in this week's issue of losing her family's matriarch in January of 2022. In Haddish's new book I Curse You with Joy, out May 7, she recounts how her grandmother took her in from foster care after her mother was injured in a car accident and began struggling with her mental health.

At the time of her grandmother's death, "I was going, going, going and I really needed to stop," says Haddish. "And I needed to mourn."

Related: Tiffany Haddish Reveals She's Been Sober and Celibate for 6 Months: 'I Was Waking Up Next to Ugly Men' (Exclusive)

The star, 44, was in the midst of taping Disney's Haunted Mansion in Georgia at the time, while also dealing with upheaval in her romantic and personal life. "I had gotten out of a relationship months before," she says of her split with rapper Common in August of 2021. Then came a series of unfortunate events.

"My dog died, then 10 days later my grandma died, then four days later I get arrested for a DUI," she says. "My world fell apart."

A huge part of her world was her grandmother. "I lost my first best friend," she recalls, tearing up. "It still f---s me up, like someone took a chunk of my heart out. That was my love. I don't, don't know how long it takes to heal and I don't know if the way I grieve is healthy."

Related: Tiffany Haddish Reveals Painful Endometriosis Battle and 8 Miscarriages: 'The Devil Is Real’ (Exclusive)

That said, "I've figured out some creative ways," she adds, of her journey through the grief process. "I got some of her wigs. I'll be just sitting sniffing her wigs like a weirdo," she says.

It's taken a lot for Haddish to get to a better place after the loss, but as she describes in I Curse You With Joy, she's dedicated to getting through the pain.

“Here’s me dealing with my bad," she says. "It’s exhausting, but I look at my life like a contractor. These are the raggedy tools and resources I have, but I have to build a building. I don’t know how, but I’m going to figure it out. I know I can.”

I Curse You With Joy, out May 7, is available for preorder now, wherever books are sold.

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Read the original article on People.